Day 775: Awkward

Yesterday (my last work day before a two-week vacation),  I decided that the right thing to do was to go into work for a few hours in the afternoon, despite my running an awkwardly inconvenient fever two evenings before.

During my time at work yesterday, this was the only thing I awkwardly wrote on my white board:

IMG_5447

I hope I can explain, non-awkwardly and clearly, why “Awkward” was hanging around on my white board yesterday, awkwardly alone like that.

I wrote “Awkward” during a final “termination” session (terminating therapy is described further and perhaps somewhat awkwardly in this here post), when a patient and I said goodbye to each other after working together for several months.  This termination session had been cancelled and rescheduled several times over the last week or so, because of the extreme Boston winter weather, which is making it supremely awkward to get anywhere these days.

I asked the patient, in yesterday’s termination session, what it was like for him to say goodbye to me (or to anybody else), and that’s when “Awkward” showed up.

Personally, I did not feel awkward about the word “Awkward” showing up in that way, because I think a lot of people feel awkward when saying “goodbye,” and I think it helps make the situation less awkward by naming the awkwardness.

What do you think of that awkward sentence, above?

I hope you don’t feel awkward about expressing your thoughts and feelings about anything I’m awkwardly including here today.

(I feel a little awkward writing this now,  but I think I might have too much to show and tell today about the topic “awkward,” which might make this post awkwardly long and confusing.)

Where was I, before that awkward digression?

Oh, yes. After I took that first photo yesterday, I knew “awkward” would be the topic today, and then I saw “awkward” everywhere, especially when I was trying to make my way home through the very awkward snow, ice, and super-cold temperatures in the Boston area. But I didn’t want to stop in the middle of any road and take photos — that would have been awkward, for lots of reasons.

I did manage to capture this one shot of the awkwardly-not-so-great outdoors:

IMG_5448

Hey!  That photo reminds me, awkwardly, that it’s Valentine’s Day today. However,

  • we’re all awkwardly cold and snow-bound, where I live,
  • it’s awkward to get out to buy flowers, candy, and other non-awkward or awkward gifts (depending upon your thoughts and feelings about Valentine’s Day), and
  • my son and I are flying to California today, leaving my boyfriend Michael behind with our cats, which seems like a particularly awkward Valentine’s Day present.

Also, the name of that shop  — “Paradise Flowers” — is awkward, considering the current circumstances in the Northeast USA.

A few nights ago, when I was unknowingly coming down with an awkward fever and awkwardly taking these photos at Whole Foods Market (awkwardly presented before in this blog post, here) …

IMG_5428 IMG_5429 IMG_5430 IMG_5432 … I awkwardly slipped away from Michael and found a Valentine’s Day card for him. Then, I awkwardly ran to an open line and asked a nice cashier to RING THIS UP, QUICK! because I was buying it for my boyfriend who might awkwardly appear at any moment, and she got awkward and frazzled, but we managed to complete the transaction without Michael awkwardly spoiling the surprise.

I just took an awkwardly fuzzy photo of that Valentine’s Day card, but uploading photos has been awkwardly inconsistent for me lately (which is particularly awkward timing, because of the previously awkwardly mentioned two-week trip to California), so I’ll just awkwardly tell you this: the card has a picture of a duck.

Awkward!

More “awkward” thoughts from your awkward WordPress host, in the awkwardly cold and snowy here and now:

  • For some awkwardly unknown reason, writing these blog posts is very technically awkward for me these days —   my cursor is awkwardly freezing; linking to other sites, fixing typos, etc. are now all awkwardly and unexpectedly difficult;  and I am awkwardly thrown out of each post I’m composing at least once.  I awkwardly don’t know who to blame …  WordPress, my laptop, or me.  Here’s an non-awkward solution: I shall blame nobody and just keep awkwardly posting on.
  • With post creation here more obviously awkward and difficult for me, I’m awkwardly catastrophizing that WordPress might awkwardly go away some day, AND WILL ALL MY HUNDREDS OF POSTS DISAPPEAR, TOO?  That would be VERY awkward.
  • I awkwardly read a WordPress post by another blogger whose name I’ve awkwardly forgotten the other day that put that catastrophic scenario of LOSING EVERYTHING awkwardly into my head, but when I tried to follow the instructions for saving all of my awkward and non-awkward posts for posterity, that awkwardly did NOT work.
  • I can easily feel awkward in new situations, so I may very well feel some awkwardness when I awkwardly encounter all the adventures ahead of me for the next two weeks in California. I believe I am awkwardly ready enough for all that.
  • Yesterday, when I was awkwardly looking at the awkward weather forecast for the Boston area (which included ANOTHER !*!!(@)!!!?@ AWKWARD BLIZZARD), it seemed like the timing of that blizzard might awkwardly delay the flight later today that my son and I have been awkwardly anticipating for several weeks. For now, I am awkwardly keeping my awkward fingers crossed.
  • That next awkwardly anticipated blizzard has already caused the awkward public transportation system in the Boston area to totally and awkwardly shut down for tomorrow, Sunday. That’s going to make things awkward for a lot of people.

Here’s another awkward segue: After I got home from work, yesterday, my downstairs neighbor Karen’s dog, Faxy, ran upstairs into our apartment and had a close-if-not-awkward encounter with our very non-awkward cat, Oscar. I would feel very awkward if I did not show you some of these pictures, as I promised Karen yesterday I would, but it’s awkward for me to decide which ones of the many photos I awkwardly took yesterday to awkwardly share with you now.

IMG_5459 IMG_5462 IMG_5463 IMG_5465 IMG_5467 IMG_5468 IMG_5469 IMG_5471 IMG_5479 IMG_5481 IMG_5486 IMG_5491

That last awkward photo includes the awkwardly elusive and shy Harley under the table, who actually seemed to feel LESS awkward with a STRANGE DOG than he does with two of the humans who live with him (including one who actually CHOSE AND RESCUED HIM FROM THE SHELTER).

Awkward!

Here is one more awkward image I noticed last night:

IMG_5498

That’s an awkward birthday card I unexpectedly received from one of my old college roommates, Nancy. I just tried to change the awkward sideways orientation of that photo the way I usually do, but that didn’t work.

Awkward!

Would it be awkward for me to ask you what awkward music you might include in this awkward post?

Last night, I decided to choose this song, which has some awkward lyrics about California:

Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald are singing “The Lady is a Tramp” here at YouTube.

I shall now awkwardly ask, again, for any comments, awkward or not.

Thanks to all awkward and non-awkward humans, animals, weather systems, and computer interfaces who/that (awkward!) helped me compose this here awkward post and I hope it doesn’t seem awkward that I’m particularly grateful to YOU, for visiting today.

Categories: blogging, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

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46 thoughts on “Day 775: Awkward

  1. yeoldefoole

    Safe & Happy Travels, Dear One!

  2. KAREN FUNKENSTEIN

    ANN, THE PHOTO OF OSCAR AND FAXY SO CLOSE IS AMAZING. GREAT PHOTOGRAPHY. THAT WAS A WONDERFUL ENCOUNTER TO SEE BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER. LOVE, KAREN

  3. I love your pics, they capture those awkward moments really well. My little Jack would’ve had a scratched nose if he had disturbed my cat on her favourite chair. She was the boss, but sadly we lost her last year at the age of 16. Sorry, I didn’t mean to go down the sad route there… that was a little awkward 😉

  4. You won’t feel awkward at all when you get to California!

    • I might feel awkward, Emilie, since I’m running ANOTHER (low grade) FRIGGIN’ FEVER today, but …we shall see. Thanks for another non-awkward visit!

  5. Very good, very clever post ~ there really is something to people feeling awkward when saying “goodbye” ~ I hate goodbyes because of this… But this was a good one for your last day of work, and wish you happy trails and sunshine in Cali 🙂

  6. You’ll be fine, relax, I love that image of the “Paradise Flower’s” shop, you’re such a good photographer and writer, this trip is to fuel you up with creativity and relaxation. Relax and enjoy. 😃

  7. Is it awkward that I find that awkward family pet photo so awkward? Hmmm… I don’t think so but it could be I’m jsut feeling awkward about that awkward photo.

    Love the Faxy and Oscar photos.

    Have an amazing voyage. So glad you’re getting away from all that awkward snow! Maybe it will be all gone when you get back!

  8. Everything has been said before … how awkward!
    May tour trip have the minimum of awkwardness Ann 🙂

  9. Great pictures – not awkward at all. and I liked your awkward sentence. Have an awkward-free break, Ann. 🙂

    • Sometimes compliments make me feel awkward, Millie. Does that ever happen to you? Your kind words and your smile had the opposite effect on me, today.

      • I find it very difficult to take compliments gracefully, Ann. I find myself, stupidly, saying things to couteract them! It’s just because I feel emarrassed – or awkward, like you. 🙂

      • We’re not alone in that, Millie, believe me!

  10. Oh your going on a trip how exciting I like trips, just not the type that have me on the ground in pain other trips though they are good………………the kitty and puppy photos all bloody awesome…..just saying

  11. You’ve had all your awkward in one day. All will go smoothly from now on. Hope you are in the sunshine now.

    • Things did get pretty awkward, for a while, after I wrote this post, Hilary, what with the blizzard delaying our departure by an hour and my feeling miserably sick on the flight, and our missing our first planned activity in LA, but I’M HERE WHERE IT’S WARM and I think things might go more smoothly from now on. And guess which book I brought along with me on the trip? The book YOU wrote — “Borderline.” Is that awkward, in any way?

  12. Gene Phillips

    That’s one heck of a lot of awkwardness.

  13. Ann, I feel kind of awkwardly sad for your therapy patient who I don’t even know, at having to end therapy with you. I’m glad that you helped with that goodbye, even in all the bad weather.

    It’s almost 5 PM west coast time as I write this, and I hope that you and Aaron are in California now, or almost there, and the only awkward thing is wondering what to do with your winter coats as you make your way around in the sunshine. Have a wonderful visit. Happy Valentine’s Day!

    • When I first read this non-awkwardly wonderful comment, Maureen, I was at the LA airport feeling awkwardly sick, miserable, and anxious, but it’s now 12 hours later and everything’s looking much better. Thanks for helping with all that.

  14. Uh, this may be awkward, but Happy Valentine’s Day, Ann. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and photos – especially that one of the dog and baby in the family photo card. That made me smile. ❤

  15. Darlin’…we are all awkward now and then…we have to stick together!

  16. Another fever? That’s not awkward, that’s awful, Ann, what with California beckoning. Oy. WordPress antics, now that’s awkward. Maybe California’s aura will be better for online posting. One can hope. Travel safe and keep things at 98.6. See you in L.A.

    • I’m in LA, Mark, and after reaching the heights of 101.1 (internally, not externally) last night, things are back to normal, for now. Your empathy creates a particularly non-awkward aura, my WordPress friend.

  17. Funky Town is an awkward song,, but Boston’s weather is just so awkward right now.

    I sometimes feel awkward saying a “Good-Bye.” It’s because I feel very vulnerable. I want confirmation that my farewell will be healthy and not inappropriate. There is no way to know what the result will be until the act is over. This fear stems from inappropriate touching by someone I trusted when I was younger.
    Sometimes awkward moments are red flags. Some times they are painful reminders and create post traumatic stress. And, sometimes, they are simply awkward because we cannot control them in spite of being in the moment of the unknown. In the end, I’ve stated the same argument, but in awkward disarray. I am afraid of being awkward, therefore, I am. But this is okay. I am not responsible for what happened. I am only responsible for fearing that it may happen again. Therefore, my radar is up. That is awkward, but it is also my way of protecting myself. Taking care of myself, awkward or not, is something to celebrate. Awkward does not have to define me. I get to define it.

    • Your self-empowering makes me want to cheer, all the way from LA. Thank you for all the beautiful vulnerability you shared in this comment.

  18. Loved the awkward family photo with dog on child.

  19. Pingback: Day 776: Just Ask | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  20. And please take many pictures and continue these ‘awkward’ situations you blog about 😊

  21. Any post that mentioned my man, Frank Sinatra, and the talented Lady Ella is gonna get a ‘like’ from me. 🙂

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