Day 766: The Terminator

As you may have found out from this recent post, I love making up tests for people.

So why wait?

Today’s Terminator Test

by Ann

1. “The Terminator” is:

a. The name of a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger,  Michael Biehn, and Linda Hamilton, directed by James Cameron and written by Gale Anne Hurd and Cameron.

b. One of my favorite movies.

c. A nickname I’ve given myself, on the job.

d. All of the above.

2. Now that you’ve read this post so far, you’re curious about why:

a.  “The Terminator” is one of my favorite movies.

b.  James Cameron.

c. I’m starting my post this way.

d. I’ve given myself the nickname of “The Terminator.

e. Some of the above.

f.  All of the above.

g.  None of the above.

Time’s up!

The answer to #1 is d.

Only you, dear reader, know the answer to #2.

No matter what you’re curious about right now, I shall tell you why I’ve given myself the nickname of “The Terminator.”

It’s because:

  • “Termination” is the term, in the psychotherapy biz, for saying goodbye to a relationship.
  • I am RELENTLESS about facilitating goodbyes, when I’m on the job.
  • I’m in the psychotherapy biz.

Here are some things I’ve learned, in my years of being “The Terminator”:

  1. Most people have trouble with goodbyes.
  2. Human beings tend to deal with goodbyes with some measure of denial.
  3. Goodbyes can evoke a lot of reactions, including sadness, anger, and numbness.
  4. People can get better at goodbyes, especially with practice.
  5. A better goodbye often involves allowing room for (a) appreciation for specifics and (b) unexpressed feelings that are getting in the way of connecting authentically.
  6. I do goodbyes in psychotherapy by inviting people to identify and discuss (a) what they got out of therapy (which includes the relationship with me) and (b) what they did NOT get out of therapy.

Termination is on my mind today, because there are several goodbyes going on around me. For example, there’s one going on at work, very early this morning, for Jackie:


Now, Jackie, if she reads this blog (and she does, some times), might get mad at me because I took one candid shot of her yesterday, when she wasn’t looking.  I DON’T CARE!  I’M MAD AT HER FOR LEAVING!

By the way, Jackie knows I’m mad at her. I’ve told her that every day I’ve seen her since she announced her termination, about two weeks ago. As a matter of fact, I told her I was mad at her right before I snapped those photos. As you can see, she doesn’t seem concerned.

Jackie’s lack of concern about what other people think is one of the many, many things I love about her and will miss, very much.

Well, after she’s gone, at least I’ll always have the posts she’s appeared in, so far (herehere, here, here, here, here, and here*).

Since I don’t expect my readers to say:

“I’ll be back” after returning from checking out ANY FRIGGIN’ LINKS I INCLUDE IN THESE POSTS, here are more photos of Jackie, from some of those previous posts.

2014121995100833-1   IMG_3794 img_1642 img_56371

One of those photos I’ve never posted before. Should I test people on which one that is?

Oh, forget it. I’ve got to terminate this post and go terminate with Jackie.

Many thanks to nice terminators of all kinds and to you — of course! — for temporarily terminating other things in order to read this, today.

* Jackie actually may not appear in all those posts. Those are the posts that WordPress returns in response to my searching on “Jackie.”  I don’t have time to fix that, though. Why?  I have to leave for a RIDICULOUSLY EARLY GOODBYE PARTY, PEOPLE (and be a terminator).

Categories: Uncategorized | 47 Comments

Post navigation

47 thoughts on “Day 766: The Terminator

  1. backtowhatever

    I love her hair!

  2. Dang, beat me to it!

  3. Goodbye, Jackie! Enjoy whatever wonderful thing it is you’re doing next.
    Oh, yeah. I love your hair!

  4. Fun! Thank you!

  5. I hate good byes. I avoid them at all costs. There’s that denial you were talking about. Jackie is just so cute-love her smile and what fabulous hair! I also love that she has a lack of concern about what other people think of her- to me that is true authenticity (a much overused word in today’s times, but whatever) When my husband worked as a comptroller for a company years ago he was known as the terminator, but there were certainly no positives in it, as he was the one to break the bad news that someone was losing their job.

  6. Presumably Jackie’s moving on to something better for her – whether it’s another job, town, relationship or whatever. It’s hard to say goodbye for any reason. I love the way you orchestrate ‘goodbyes’ with your patients – inviting them to discuss what they got out of the session. It’s similar to how we (teachers) end lessons. We have a short plenary (usually oral) in which students consider the key points of what they’ve learned – or perhaps, what else thay would have liked to know. But of course, these ‘terminations’ are for a day or two only.
    Well, Arnie’s words are definitely bellicose. I can’t imagine yours being described as that.
    As always, a great post, Ann. Good luck to Jackie, whatever she does next.

  7. I love this movie too Ann!
    Goodbye Jackie!

  8. To echo some previous comments, I love Jackie’s hair, wild and free! I would guess that’s her nature as well? 🙂

  9. I’ve never seen the movie… it never sounded like something I’d enjoy. As a person with the straightest possible hair I am in terminal envy of Jackie. I hope she is going on to a great new job.

  10. Hair today, gone tomorrow. Bye Jackie. I think it is the bottom right of photo quadrant that’s the first-time photo, I shall answer to your test, Ann, before I terminate this comment.

  11. Termination can also be a quality for austerity and objectivity in life. I laughed so much with the “I’ll be back” video however; it’s like the one who never gives up. Thanks Ann!

  12. I prefer good tone of “Goodbye” than terminate. For Jackie leaving her current job, I think you should be happy for her if that is what she wants to do 🙂

  13. Love that movie, love Jackie, she emanates such good vibes and I hope she is moving on to better for her things!

  14. I don’t blame you for being angry. She’s adorable. 😉

  15. I’ll be back! 😉

  16. Pingback: Day 767: Obvious | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  17. Pingback: Day 768: Are you OK? | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  18. Pingback: Day 769: Wait! | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  19. Pingback: Day 775: Awkward | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  20. Her hair’s amazing

  21. Pingback: Day 1175: Life’s lifts | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: