Day 722: I told you so

Yesterday morning,  I was treading on the treadmill at cardiac rehab

IMG_3896

and  Danise

IMG_3903

said, “I told you so!” as she recounted a story about her weekend.

I don’t know if I told you so before, but I often listen to conversations around me and if I find them interesting, sometimes I interrupt!
.

If you have a judgment (or any other thoughts) about that, feel free to tell me so.

.

Anyway, Danise and I told each other a little bit about “I Told You So” while — as I already told you so — I was treading on that treadmill. We agreed that “I Told You So” might make a good t-shirt. I also told Danise it would make a good title for today’s post.

If I haven’t told you so before, I’ll tell you now:  I almost never say “I told you so.” Why not?  I don’t think people like it if you tell them:

  1. I was right,
  2. You were wrong, and
  3. You should have listened to me.

Who wants to be told that?

If you tell somebody “I told you so” and  they react poorly, all I can say is …

… I told you so.

See?  How did that feel?

I told you so far, in this post, about Danise talking about her weekend and my working out at cardiac rehab.  What have I told you so far, in This Second Year of Living Non-Judgmentally, about recent developments with my very unusual heart?

Even if I told you so before, I’ll tell you this again:

  1. Several cardiologists in the greater Boston area have different beliefs about what’s going on with my very unusual heart and what should be done about it.
  2. I’m hoping, with all my heart, that the doctors who believe I need major surgery soon will NOT be saying, “I told you so,” any time soon.
  3. As I’ve told you so many times in this blog, I have a lot of trust and admiration for my primary cardiologist Dr. Deeb Salem, who is a good listener and a great doctor.
  4.  On January 7, I’ll be seeing THE specialist for adults for my very rare congenital cardiac anomaly, at Boston Children’s Hospital.  How do I know this guy is THE specialist?  Several people have told me so.

I’ve told you so many things about my heart situation, lately. I’m not sure how comfortable you are, reading those kind of details. Perhaps I haven’t told you so in so many words, but it’s helpful for me to write about all this, here.

Even though I don’t say “I told you so” very often, I do like to form my own opinions about what’s going on with me medically, which can conflict with what the experts are saying.  If I’m right (and the experts are wrong), those are  opportunities to say, “I told you so.”

For example, when I transferred my care from Children’s Hospital in 1980 to work with Dr. Salem, he wanted to find out why I was born with a complete heart block — where the atria of my heart were NOT saying “I told you so, so, so, so, so, to beat after me” to the ventricles — necessitating my having a pacemaker at age 10. At that point, nobody had told me so that my heart was super unusual. Why? Because nobody at Children’s Hospital had discovered that I had congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels (to be fair, cardiology technology wasn’t sophisticated enough to tell us so, back then).  I don’t have time to tell you so much the whole story of all that right now, since I need to go get a detailed cardiac stress test this morning — to get more data so the cardiologists can tell me so much more about what the &*#@!!&(# is going on with my weirdly unusual heart.  But I do want to tell you (so you will get my point)  what I did, back in 1980 when I disagreed with Dr. Salem’s conclusion that I might need heart surgery, after he discovered the truth about my bizarrely strange heart.

When Doctor Salem surprised me, while I was waiting for pacemaker replacement surgery in the hospital, by telling me so much about my heart, including that they might need to sew the pacemaker wires onto my heart after I had believed, for many years, that I would NEVER need that kind of surgery again, I got up out of my hospital bed and started packing my bags, to leave. Dr. Salem — whom I’ve told you so many times is a wonderful doctor — was empathic and creative enough to figure out, with me, another solution. And, since age 13 and until today — when I’m telling you so much, so quickly — I’ve never had heart surgery, again.

As I’ve told you so, above, I need to leave soon to go to a cardiac stress test today. But I have time to tell you one more story, about how I sometimes take opportunities to say, “I told you so!” to my doctors.

Last Friday, after synthesizing all the conflicting medical input I’ve been getting, I wrote an email to Dr. Salem. The subject of the email was:

By the way, here’s my working recommendation for what to do with me

A judgmental critic might disapprovingly say “I told you so, don’t do that!” regarding that email, because:

  • I came up with my own recommendations, even though I’m just the patient, and
  • I wrote such a friggin’ long subject for that email.

Would you like me to tell you what I told Dr. Salem in that email, so boldly?

You can tell me that you want me to tell you so, now. But I’m not going to tell you.

Why?

I may have told you so far, during my blogging journey, that I like to tell stories effectively. Therefore, I think it would be better if I tell you later, not now,  what I wrote in that email.

When will I tell you so much more about the contents of that email, and my prediction and recommendation about the best course of action for my heart? Probably, after I get the opinion of THE expert at Children’s Hospital, whom I’m seeing on January 7.  Honestly, dear readers, wouldn’t that make a great telling of the story? Especially if — based on what Dr. Michael Landzberg tells me — I’ll be able to say “I told you so!” to all those cardiologists who think I need a valve replacement or even more invasive heart surgery in the near future.

I told you so much and so little so far, today. Personally, I think it’s time I told you so, visually, with these other photos I took yesterday:

IMG_3904

What am I telling you, in that photo I took at cardiac rehab? I told you so many people are stressed out over the holiday!

IMG_3907

That’s Mary, whom I work with. If I haven’t told you so many times before this that I love working with her, I’ll tell you so now.  Before I took that photo, Mary told me this, “That diploma is in Latin, so nobody can tell how old I am!”

Have I told you that I park in a garage and easily walk the miles back and forth from work? (By the way, that’s more data that has gone into my personal recommendation about treatment for my heart, contained in my email to Dr. Salem, which I’ll be telling you about later.)  Here’s what I saw, yesterday, in that garage:

IMG_3909

That car is saying, “I told you so that I’m a reindeer!”

IMG_3910

Let’s see if my iPhone is saying “I told you so!” about having more cool pictures from yesterday I can tell you about, right now.

IMG_3905 IMG_3914 IMG_3924 IMG_3912

If you have any reactions to anything in this post, please tell me so in a “I told you so!” comment (or not).

Oh!  I forgot to tell you so about the song that woke me up this morning.

That’s Los Lobos, telling so many people, live, “Don’t Worry, Baby!”

I told you so!

IMG_2811

Thanks to Dr. Salem, to Dr. Michael Landzberg, to Mary, to Danise, to Los Lobos, to anybody anywhere who has ever told me so (or told me anything else). And, thanks to everybody to whom I’ve ever said, “I told you so” … which now includes YOU!!

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Post navigation

27 thoughts on “Day 722: I told you so

  1. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxO

  2. Thank you for the great music to listen to as I type this. Dr. Salem sounds like a SuperDoc I wish there were more like him. Also have a great and healthy Christmas. I look forward to reading more of your posts in 2015.

  3. Ann, my prayers are with you (and the doctors) that all will be well with your unusual, beautiful heart. Have a happy holiday with your loved ones, and may the New Year bring you positive actions and great joy.

    • As always, thanks for reading and for telling me all these things. I am telling you all your lovely wishes, right back at you.

  4. I learn a lot about advocating for myself as a patient, from your posts. From now on, I’m going to say, “Ann told me so!”

  5. You tolt me sew!!

  6. Why is it so many of us can’t find our voice when dealing with doctors and medical staff, we need to able to speak up and say what we think and feel but so often we don’t and we end up leaving the doctor thinking I should have said such and such, you are such an inspiration to many of us

    • Why, indeed? Great question. Have we been told, for so long, that patients’ opinions don’t count as much as doctors? Thanks for telling me that I’m an inspiration; that made my day.

  7. I often do not follow doctors’ recommendations. The are anywhere between skeptical and somewhat horrified when I say I will find an alternative way to treat my problem. So far, for all the “biggies” I’ve encountered, I have been able to say, “I told you so!”
    I hope you get to say the same to your doctors!

  8. It will be what it will be, Ann. You will tell them so, and they will tell you so, and Dr. Salem is a very smart man. I’m hoping it all will be very swell. Happy and Merry and no worries, baby.

  9. Maybe…if we only told people “I told you so” to remind them when we were wrong, and suspected that we were wrong, it would be better than only when we’re right…though I guess we’d be saying we were right about suspecting we were wrong, and then could reasonably being accused of both making lemons out of lemonade while squirting the juice in another person’s eye. So maybe we just shouldn’t use that phrase. You, uh, told me so.

  10. Pingback: Day 723: What’s been going on? | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  11. Pingback: Day 724: Children | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  12. Hmm… I think maybe I have misunderstood. Have you not had surgery since you were thirteen? If this is the case, it helps explain your current anxiety, because the memories laid at 13 are going to be of a very different sort to ones laid in adulthood and because surgery has changed so much since then. But I think I am wrong, so feel free to tell me so. I hope Dr Salem agrees with your plan.

    • I have had pacemaker replacement surgery, Hilary, but NOT heart surgery, since I was 13 years old. I understand why this is confusing. And even though it’s confusing, you wrote a particularly helpful comment for me today.

  13. Ah, now I understand. I still hope the new experience, whatever it turns out to be, is different and better than the one in your memory.

  14. Pingback: Day 743: Be nice to me | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  15. Pingback: Day 770: Am I blue? | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  16. Pingback: Day 815: The more you know, the better you feel.  | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: