Yesterday, I wrote a post titled “Different styles” which included
- dealing with people whose styles are different from mine,
- accepting the different styles I have within me, and
After I wrote that post in the morning, I went to a doctor’s appointment, with one of my cardiologists.
Yesterday’s appointment was with Mr. Spock, whom I see approximately twice a year. (I am seeing Captain Kirk once every three months.)
Here is something I’ve been noticing about their different styles, lately: Mr. Spock Cardiologist looks into the future for me and for my very unusual heart in what seems to me to be a more negative way. My personal style of observation tells me that Captain Kirk Cardiologist looks into the future for me and my heart in a more positive way.
I believe that Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk recognize their style differences, but I don’t know if they would use language like “negative” and “positive.”
It occurs to me, in the moment, that negative and positive are two sides of a battery:
Here are my associations, in the moment, with that photo (which lives here, according to Google Images):
- I have been dependent upon cardiac pacemaker batteries, to stay alive, since I was 10 years old,
- I am currently confused about whether I am getting green, yellow, or red signals regarding my future and possible next steps (including valve replacement surgery), and
- The word “currently” in #2, above, is a pun, which I could say was intentional, but that would be lying, and that is NOT my style.
I wonder if I have confused people, so far, in this post. If I have confused you, that is NOT just a reflection of my personal writing style. If you are confused, you are not alone. I am confused.
Since my personal style is to seek clarity, whenever possible, I hope to move forward, through confusion, as soon as possible.
In the meantime, I shall be listening to music, which always helps me, no matter what my and other people’s personal styles are. Here’s a song I was very glad to hear yesterday:
I started loving that rendition of “Ain’t That Peculiar” soon after I got my first cardiac pacemaker, on November 22, 1963. While those lyrics are about a failed love affair, many of them seem to apply to my situation, including “unlike a child, my tears don’t help me to get my way.”
But that’s my personal style, too: thinking lots of things are connected and applicable to my situation.
For example, right after I saw Mr. Spock Cardiologist, yesterday, I snapped this photo, thinking it somehow applied to my life:
When I saw “RUS” yesterday, I thought I might riff, in today’s post, about what else RUS could stand for.
What else could RUS stand for?
- Russia, where my ancestors emigrated from, to the USA.
- That’s all I’ve got, this morning. Could you think of some other Relevant, Useful Suggestions for what else RUS might stand for?
I took some more photos, after that one, as I went back to work. (I get my medical care and I work as a psychotherapist at two different Boston hospitals that have, I think, different styles.)
Speaking of Dark Places, I have found that people who feel depressed, confused, despairing, and overwhelmed — losing (temporary) track of hope — can tend to isolate.
I don’t think that helps, do you? And yet I witness people doing that — the opposite of what would help — all the time.
Ain’t that peculiar?
Thanks to doctors of different styles, all those who do their best when confused, rodents and hearts of unusual sizes, people who put lights on trees (and elsewhere) as the days grow darker and colder, and to you — of course! — for bringing your different styles here, today.