Day 624: Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

Yesterday, I wrote a blog post about how I was looking at things. While that could describe every blog post I’ve ever written, I also had a specific intent and investment in an outcome yesterday: I hoped to generate more comments from my readers.

Here’s some interesting data: that post got fewer comments than any other blog post I’ve written for several weeks, if not months. (I’m not giving you exact data here, because I just gave up going deeper into my past posts, to retrieve that number.)

What went “wrong” yesterday?  Why did I get fewer comments, when I was trying to get more?

I really can’t answer that.

However, I shall now do what I often do, when something unexpected happens. I shall try to make meaning of it.

Does my getting such a low number of comments yesterday mean any of the following?

  1. Yesterday’s post (or other recent posts) sucked, and I’ve lost readers as a result.
  2. Yesterday’s post (or other recent posts) did not suck, and I’ve lost readers anyway.
  3. I’ve peaked in terms of reader satisfaction, and it’s all downhill from now on.
  4. People were too busy to comment yesterday, for lots of reasons.
  5. People saw through my scheming attempts to get more comments and rebelled, as a result.
  6. Some things people communicate just inexplicably get considerably more or fewer reactions, as others may have experienced.

Some of my guesses, above, might be off-base, especially since they involve mind-reading, catastrophizing, and other unhelpful, distorted thoughts.

So I may never know why I got so few comments, yesterday.

Does that matter?

Probably not.  As I’ve often heard and do believe:  quality, not quantity, is more important. And the comments I got yesterday were very high quality, indeed.

So why am I writing this post, today?

Because, honestly, I had moments, yesterday, of feeling

  • disappointment,
  • rejection, and
  • confusion

… about the low number of comments.

There were also many moments, yesterday, when I did NOT feel

  • disappointment,
  • rejection, and
  • confusion.

There were many moments I felt:

  • grateful
  • connected, and
  • clear.

In those moments, I was appreciating what I WAS getting, here in the blogging world and in my other worlds, too. I was present and mindful — at work, home, and elsewhere — amid many challenges.

Also, when I was feeling grateful, connected and clear yesterday, I spent some time thinking about what blog posts I might write, in the future.

For example, I thought I might write a blog post, at some point, called “Tomorrow’s Girls.” I considered including, in that post of tomorrow:

  •  my thoughts about the realities of being female in a hierarchical system like, say, a major city hospital (or other environments and cultures),
  • some photos I took yesterday of young women near the campuses of Simmons and Emmanuel Colleges:

IMG_9273 IMG_9274 IMG_9275

But here’s a dilemma for me:

How do I write — authentically and empathically — about sexism that I experience for myself and witness others experiencing, without losing  people I care about in the process?

That’s something else I can’t answer today.

Before I end yet another imperfect post here — where I struggle to balance hopes and fears about connecting with others — I want to say more about my yesterday.

I wrote a draft of today’s post last night, very similar to what you are reading now.  And, I did something else unusual, too.

I asked my 16-year-old son to read it. I didn’t request that he tell me, honestly, what he thought, because I figured he would do that, no matter how I introduced it.

I was, I admit, a little anxious about how he might react.

That turned out much better than I feared (as things often do).  He and I had an interesting and long-ranging discussion about sexism, where I learned a lot.

Today, I still don’t know how to write about that topic here.

Perhaps this girl might be figuring that out,  tomorrow.

Thanks to my son, to my boyfriend, to my male cats, to girls and boys and men and women whom I encounter at work and in all my other worlds too, and to you — of course! — for being here today (and, perhaps, yesterday and tomorrow).

Categories: personal growth, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 28 Comments

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28 thoughts on “Day 624: Yesterday, today, and tomorrow

  1. If you are keeping track, put me down for a #4. I’m in Orlando on business and have not had the time for a lot of reading. If it makes you feel any better, yesterday was a very slow day at my blog also. Back to my regular schedule on Wednesday. Have a great day!

  2. yeoldefoole

    watching the numbers will drive you crazy! so easy to say, isn’t it? 😉

  3. I’m sure yesterday’s problems were more likely to be #4 than any form of disinterest so don’t be glum. I’m sure the number you generate in explanation today will make up for it.
    I rarely comment unless I can think of something relevant to say.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxxx

  4. Some days I am just not here. So you have this huge audience, right, and at least you post consistently around the same time everyday, which I do not, exactly. But that audience as a singular noun is really just an illusion. For my part, some times I am reading your blog five or six days in a row, regardless of my perception of quality–it’s more like a visit, and a really good post will not necessarily ensure I am back tomorrow. i tend to be streaky in catching up with those I follow, then having a few days of not visiting, then catching up, and so on. In some ways that gives me a wider range of stuff to read in one sitting. So…can’t make judgments about the audience’s approval based solely on the metrics of the transmission’s technology, yeah?

    One other thing that hit me as I was reading this, and while it’s trivial it also spells out the conventional boundaries of conversations about sexism. If I started a post with “Here are some pictures I took of young women near the campuses of Simmons and Emmanuel colleges” I would probably immediately be branded a stalker–even if the purpose was to illustrate the aloneness of these young women as they prepare to face any number of seemingly ancient and unbreakable (though not true in either case) hierarchical sexist institutions, in their careers and social lives–which is how those images affected me, as the dad of two young daughters. And my point is that the individual does not always encompass those institutions, and we know that, but we still tend to take that transference for granted–I sure would have thought something was fishy and creepy if I went to another guy’s blog and saw those very same photos with that very same sentence. The real dialogue about sexism happens in the space between the institutions and the individuals. And there’s lots of space there to work to influence things in both directions. At any rate, I look forward to reading “Tomorrow’s Girls”…tomorrow, or whenever it appears!

    • As always, Jeff, I find all your thoughts the opposite of trivial. Thank you for this amazing comment, which I approve of very highly (no matter what the metrics of the transmission’s technology).

  5. Interesting, Ann, the data that came in from yesterday’s post about acquiring data. Sometimes it’s not about you, it’s about us, just as you stated. But also sometimes when you say to a bunch of people please answer these two questions, a stubborn side kicks in and they say, hell, no. Beats me as to why and when. I have no data about that.

    Tomorrow’s Girls, great title, subject and song, too, for many reasons. It is deep and and fraught with potential chasms of belief and perception and understanding. I want to know how you think and feel about your gender’s place in the world, and how my gender treats your gender. Will I agree? Some points yes, some points no, is my best guess. That’s life across the board, good discussions and important things. Please write on, Ann, no matter the data.

    • Speaking as one of those rebellious people, Mark, who often won’t answer your questions, thank you for the excellence of all the data (not to mention encouragement and acceptance) you’ve given me today.

      • It’s interesting, Ann, because I only expect answers from some of the people some of the time, but some of my loyal friends answer all of them every day, and some none, ever, and some some sometimes. Go figure? I can’t and so I won’t!

  6. I have been way busy since I started the semester. Take comfort though that you are like a good friend. No matter how much time we spend apart once we are together again it is like we never left. 🙂

    Now in terms of why “data” didn’t attract much attention, perhaps the title was too sciency and scared people away. People are scared of science. Which is sad. Data should make us excited…not less so. 🙂 I am going to have to go read that post now. 🙂

    • That’s a very helpful comment, Swarn, for lots of reasons. Here’s some data about me: I often forget about the impact of the title on readership! I mean, I think about a title and I think about my audience, but yet there’s another blind spot there, for me. I’m glad you pointed out that perspective, like a good friend.

  7. Lately I’ve been spending less time online and more time working on my new book, but I will pop in when I can! 🙂

  8. In the Stillness of Willow Hill

    I can solve this dilemma…..never look at stats!

  9. I am less blog-orientated than I was but still feel the connection with you and so many others. Just so busy and a bit fluey atm xx

  10. Hmm, I suspect ‘data’ is work jargon to many people unless they have concrete examples of the kind of data that matters to you. I certainly connect to my my work (and I retired a while ago).

  11. Let us hope wecan still be here tomorrow. Any moment life can be over, Therefore we always better make the best out of it.

  12. My suspicion is that your loyal readers took shelter in a cave to avoid a raging storm, that storm caused power outages to their cell phones, and they were too busy battling a zombie apocalyptic attack to respond. Of course, that’s just a theory. 😉

  13. Pingback: Day 629: The Eureka Moment! | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  14. Pingback: Day 636: Airhead | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  15. Pingback: Day 2309: What I Don’t Want to Do Today | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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