In Day 589: One Thing, I posted four pictures of words I had encountered in my travels. Two of my generous readers saw the results as poetry, no less.
Ever since both Louise Gallagher and Hilary Custance Green saw a poem in that post, I’ve been considering that I might be poet (even if I don’t know it).
I might even be a good poet, like this impressive dog, whom I remember very clearly from a long-ago Late Night with David Letterman:
(“Summer”* found here on YouTube)
Actually, when I compare myself to that dog, I feel pretty daunted. I mean, that’s some damn fine poetry, don’t you think?
Comparing myself to other poets doesn’t help, though. Therefore, I am going to let go of the cognitive distortion of comparisons and doggedly try this poetry thing one more time, with some photos I took yesterday:
Geesh. I don’t know about that poem. To me, it doesn’t seem right.
Two questions: What’s wrong with it? And can I fix it, before it’s time to publish this post?
Here’s what’s bugging me about that poem:
- It doesn’t rhyme. And while lots of great poetry doesn’t rhyme, I HAVE written limericks (and a few other poems, too, now that I think of it) that rhyme fine. (And maybe I should show off that skill, here, to impress my readers.)
- The “poem” implies that there is only one way to sustain yourself (which I don’t believe, by the way), and then it contradicts itself, by showing more than one way to do that.
- One of the words I chose for that poem was “independently” and — while I value independence — I think we can be too independent, sometimes. It especially bothers me that I’m using the word “independently” within a post where (I hope) I’m showing how important the support of others can be, in helping me feel better about myself and take risks.
- It doesn’t have a big finish. Even though I think the sentiment on that cup is helpful and important, I’m afraid it won’t leave a lasting impression.
So what to do, now, before I end this post? I really don’t want to rewrite that poem.
Well, I COULD show off one of my old limericks or other rhyming achievements from long ago. However, the past is the past, as another cup tried to tell me yesterday:
And even though I might have some issues with my writing here , another cup has some helpful advice:
Hmmm. Showing that third cup allows me to end this post with a kind of rhyme, in time (see here, if you don’t believe me).
Nevertheless, something still feels missing to me.
Maybe I could write a new poem, right now! Am I up for the task? Let’s find out!
A Poetry Limerick
A blogger at WordPress named Ann
Writes everyday posts, without plan,
With her thoughts fundamental,
human, judgmental,
She’s doing the best that she can.
Big finish!
Thanks to you, for all you do.
____________________
* Written by Merrill Markoe.
As a lover of the non-rhyming poem, I think your poem is perfect — contradictions are important. They leave room for possibility. 🙂
And thank you for the mention! wishing you a lyrical day.
Thank you, Louise,
for seeing the perfection
in others,
and embracing
contradictions
so beautifully.
Yes, I agree with Louise. It’s all about examining our own Truth. Let the words hang as they want!
I will follow the advice of you and Louise, if you please.
You make me laugh!
How about rearranging it a little, although it might be a little late to do before you post, unless you own a time machine.
One way
Openly
Enjoy the little things
Independently
What sustains you?
Live in the heart
As always, my readers make things better! Thank you, Trent.
i think it’s good that we don’t compare with others and seeing the small things is important in poetry
I would agree, Claudia. Thanks so much for the visit and the comment, too!
Freestyle, limerick, any way you want.
I’ll read your work, Ann.
No matter the font.
A blogger from Syracuse, Mark,
With a fine compositional arc,
Had some change unexpected,
But Bialczak elected
To bring all of us out of the dark.
Ta-da! Thank you, Ann Koplow.
Love it all, the dog poetry had me in stitches!
Diana xo
I love that you were in stitches, Diana!
Ann xo
Ha,ha…for some reason the non-rhyming poem always makes me a bit happier, as I think it brings us closer to the meaning 🙂 There are always so many possibilities and contradictions ~ so I could not even begin to compare or contrast. Just know what I like and your poem is great 🙂
Thank you, Randall! This comment makes me happy.
You are an amazing poet!!! 🙂
Wow! Thanks!
You sound like a poet to me, but then again I’m an armature poet myself…
I’ll take the compliment! Thank you.
I think you should just go with the flow on the first one. It has a lovely message, and we’re not doing literary analysis when we read. 🙂 And the limerick is awesome!
Thank you for this awesome, lovely, and kind comment, Deborah.
Let the words flow. Inconsistency to circumstance. The ying to yang. Your non-rhyming work is phenomenal. Bravo Ann!
Thank you, Dawn! As usual, you inspire me.
I think I just wrote something in a comment of yours – similar to that last cup. LOL
I like your limerick.
I believe – life is poetry! 😉
I noticed that similarity/synchronicity, too. That made me happy, as did the rest of your comment. “Life is poetry” … I like the way you put words together, RoSy!
That was a great post! I think the concrete poem in the middle was just fine. It the visual that connects the words – no need to worry about rhyming. You only really need one good thought in a poem, so there’s no right or wrong. The dog film was great… particularly the credits. And the limerick was terrific, I’ve never managed one of those.
Thank you for all this kind and encouraging feedback! It makes a difference, Hilary.
I love your limerick!
I love that you love it!
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