Day 604: Direct communication

This morning, I would like to present some random thoughts I’m having about direct communication.

I need to warn you, before I begin, that there ARE obstacles to direct communication, here and elsewhere, including

  • the wish to avoid hurting somebody’s feelings,
  • confidentiality issues,
  • uncertainty about what is appropriate to reveal in different circumstances with different people,
  • realizing that people can be uncomfortable with direct communication, at times,
  • the fact that direct communication is not easy and takes practice, and
  • confusion about what direct communication actually IS, especially if it wasn’t practiced much by the people around you, when you were growing up.

I want to be direct, now, and share with you, if possible, a simple definition of direct communication.

Okay, I’m having trouble coming up with this, right now.

Maybe an example would help.

Nope, I’m having trouble with that, too. All my current examples have to do with issues at work and in my personal life, and I don’t feel comfortable revealing any of them, in the blogosphere, right now.

I want to talk directly to the people involved, before sharing details with you.

It might be helpful — and it might give this post some more direct value —  if I check my past blog posts, to see if I’ve written about this before.

Aha!  I have! Approximately 225 days ago (but who’s counting?), I published Day 375: Direct Communication.

I’m skimming that post now (with one eye on the time) and wondering this: “How direct was I being in THAT post?”

OMG!  I just realized — as I was linking to THAT post — that we have an unprecedented three-fer or three-peat, ladies and gentlemen, here in the Land of Living Non-Judgmentally. To be more direct, I  wrote ANOTHER post with the same title, over a hundred days before that one:  Day 172: Direct communication.

I just skimmed that earliest of my Direct Communication posts  and I directly want to say this:  I recommend that you read that one. It’s short, to the point, and helpful, in my opinion.

But of course, I wrote all of them, so how credible is my opinion, in this case?

What else would I like to directly communicate to you, right now?

Just this: I’ve learned something, this morning. Direct Communication is an ongoing issue for me. That is, I  still have much to learn about this, before I am done.

How do I know?  Well, to communicate as directly as I can:

I keep writing about it here, don’t I?

I’m not sure what I’ll be able to directly communicate, now, with recent photos from my iPhone, but here goes:

IMG_8365 IMG_8366



Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , | 30 Comments

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30 thoughts on “Day 604: Direct communication

  1. amusez798387

    Direct communication. I think we are acculturated to avoid it. Being direct feels authentic and creates more connection and understanding. People in general are not accustomed to this kind of directness. I am glad you brought this up as it is something I want to learn to do more.

  2. yeseventhistoowillpass

    Very nice:)

  3. I’m mostly direct, shoot from the hip so to speak Ann. I relate to your barrier of not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings though… ❤
    Diana xo

  4. I love the tree photo. You know what they say – a picture paints a thousand words. Or something like that.

    • Something like that, indeed! Let me be direct: I love your visits here (no matter how many words or pictures they include).

  5. “love” is the best direct communication there is Ann.

  6. Dude, there was nothing direct about this post! LOL, so I’ll be direct and let you know that I’m proud of you for recognizing that it is still an issue you struggle with and that you opened and shared with us! It’s a comfort for everyone to know that we all have struggles and only a brave few willing to share!

  7. Some things you just have to get straight to, Ann, even if it takes three posts, and Direct Communication is one of them! Indeed.

    • It might take a few more posts to really make this stick, Mark, but I assume you’ll be along for those, too. Thank you for your amazing, consistent, loyal readership. Indeed, it makes a difference in my life.

      • You got me, directly, Ann.

      • And here’s some indirect communication, Mark, that I will try to make more direct. In this fine post, you showed some cool photos of your city hall where you needed to pay a bill. In return, here’s a photo of a formidable building where I recently paid a bill.

        town hall

        I hope that got you, too.

      • Very similar, brown brick instead of gray. I very much like your City Hall, Ann. It directly affects me to the good! Thank you.

  8. HI Ann, Your musings are enjoyable. Directness is a learned format over time. Some are too direct, others need to learn how to be authentic with themselves, then the direct conversation is fluid. I have 3 categories I go by. 1. Listening; 2. Listen with respect 3. Is it worth it? The last is just as important as the first. And the last one I had to learn being a rather direct person without guile and being poised was the last element. Before I speak I ask, “is it worth is saying? And what are the purposes in my directness to accomplish. There is a wonderful book out by Marshall Goldsmith “what got you here won’t get you there” He is direct, a fortune 500 CEO coach. To coach CEO, CFO etc one needs to have some talent and tools. HIghly recommend the book if one is learning how to be direct.
    Here is some directness: Ann I like your blog. The first few pages I did not like for I thought I could not relate to eating ice cream or cravings around junk food, then I had to think, I am being hubris. I have my addictions, they are not food issues but other ones and here is a person who I have much in common. READ the BLOG and responses I told myself. First I learned here is a lady who has great humility, that takes enormous amount of wisdom…… Thank you for being the person you are!

    • Here is some directness back at you: I appreciate that you read my blog, didn’t like it at first, and then gave it more chances. That says a lot about you and your humility and wisdom, right there. Many thanks to you, for being the person you are.

      • LOL I wonder about the daily and moment to moment projections of feelings. If the Dali Lama admits to feelings of humanist, so may we. Thank you, you are a joy! And I am not a sappy person, only learned the hard way of what gratitude and integrity meant. Keep writing! And so will I. Cheers M

      • I will keep writing and I am so glad that you will, too!

  9. carlisdm

    I loved this one “Remember that other people are not as fragile as you fear” and that´s true. Sometimes we´re so concerned on how the other person is going to feel, we summon all courage and then it turns out the other person barely registered it 😀 It has happened to me a lot!

  10. People, whomever we address we always need to be reminded, we all are human. Sometimes directness is extremely warranted – and it depends on the situation. Have we heard what they have said or saw truly what they meant to do? People are sometimes strong and sometimes fragile.
    Giving an example, I work, write and speak on a particular subject; TBI, Traumatic Brain Injuries. Very seldom do people recognize this condition, it has many quirks that seem normal and yet leaves the person with enormous frustration in communicating as well as all around life. Reacting to what one thinks they hear or see without being thoroughly educated can be devastating.
    My education came after education! In the corporate world, I had to be direct or get squelched. With poise, directing those who required education and letting a executive know when there is a major screw up! Listen first, understand thoroughly, and speak if warranted to not cause drama – rather results that are positive. Being direct is different from standing up for yourself, the later has to do with self esteem. We all must look at ourselves and situations in every moment and decide. If we fail, then a review of content is in order, if we win, then go further with the direction continuing to learn. Oh dear, forgive me, I am a writer ;~/

    • I not only forgive you, I also have a lot of gratitude for all that you wrote here. Thank you for these helpful thoughts, Michele.

      • Thank you Ann, and before this name gets out of hand, my first name is MicheleElys. ;D It’s time for me to get off the computer! Rode my Arab, but wrote most of the day. Ahhhhh. Ann have you written about scheduled relaxation?

      • Thank you for the correction, MicheleElys. And I believe I have written about scheduled relaxation, somewhere in these 600+ posts. I can write about it here and now, like this: Scheduled relaxation is a very good thing!

  11. Pingback: Day 611: Saying No | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  12. Pingback: Day 629: The Eureka Moment! | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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