Sometimes I write about opposites, as a way to invite both sides, new perspectives, a wider view.
Yesterday, I wrote about a good cry, and a half pie.
I could write about the opposite of a half pie, I suppose, but the pie is gone. And what is the opposite of a half pie, anyway? A whole pie? No pie? A half cake? Difficult to say.
So I turn my attention to a good cry. What is the opposite of that? A bad cry? No cry? A good laugh? A bad laugh? Again …. I don’t know.
A few more thoughts about opposites: I like to think about opposites, because
- I like to see the whole view, with all sides, especially before I make a decision and
- Opposites are not always clear, and I like to strive for clarity.
So why do I want to write about the opposite of a good cry, today?
Because I woke up not crying, but down. Then, when I went online, I went further down, again, without a cry.
I feel the need to define what I mean by “down,” right now.
Synonyms for “down,” from thesaurus.com:
downward, cascading, declining, depressed, descending, downgrade, downhill, dropping, falling, gravitating, inferior, precipitating, sagging, sinking, sliding, slipping, slumping
Yes, when I woke up this morning, I was feeling depressed, inferior, sagging, sinking, sliding, slipping and those other words for “down.” And when I went online, I went further downwards, fast.
These are my best guesses:
- I need to make some decisions about work, very soon, and I feel ill-equipped — inferior, actually — in the moment, to do so, in a good enough way.
- I believe I’ve made a mistake or two, lately, which adds to my sagging, sinking, and so on.
- In order to make a good enough decision, I need to reach out to people for some advice and (as I’ve written about before) it can be difficult for me to ask for help.
- I’m afraid I might get conflicting advice, which, in the past, has caused me to slump, sag, and slide.
- When I went online this morning, I saw the news about the 16-year-old girl in Connecticut who was killed yesterday because (allegedly) she turned somebody down for the prom.
The result is this, in the moment: I feel paralyzed, powerless, sad, upset, frozen, and hopeless.
And I am still not crying.
What can I do? What can any of us do?
Just this, I suppose:
- Be aware of where you are.
- Let people know.
- Act, as best you can.
- Forgive yourself and others, as best you can.
An image for today?
Just a beautiful girl:
Thanks to each and every one of you, for giving me a place where I can write about anything and (sometimes) cry.