On Day 70 of Ann’s Daily Blogging, I wrote a post called “Questions and Answers (and The Liebster Blog Award)” wherein I responded to my first WordPress Award and covered many topics, including some personal favorites.
I think Questions and Answers, in some form, have been present in many of the posts I’ve written, over the last 441 days.
Here is a question on my mind, right now:
Why do the actions (or non-actions) of other people affect me, so much?
I believe I am making considerable progress in caring less about what other people think. (See here for my first post about that.) That is, I am getting better at letting go of assumptions about other people’s thoughts, recognizing that I cannot know what other people are thinking. In other words, I can recognize the cognitive distortion called “mind reading” more quickly, and let it go.
But, I wish I could be less sensitive/reactive to/affected by/moody about what other people do or do not do.
I know I’m being general, at this point in the post, and some examples might help.
All the examples that are coming to mind, right now, are related to non-responsiveness. For example:
- my clearly asking for something I need, and getting no response, or
- my speaking up (in a meeting, say) and then feeling as if I might not have said anything, at all.
In general, feeling like I’m a tree falling in a forest, with nobody there.
Thanks to Wikipedia, for the image above and for having an entry for “If a tree falls in a forest.” (I have to say, I have no complaints about Wikipedia’s responsiveness.)
So how do I feel, in response to non-responsiveness?
Terrible.
And I know I’m not alone in that. I’ve witnessed many people express fears of asking for what they want or need, because of the risk of not getting it and, then, feeling worse.
Speaking of Questions and Answers, Michael just asked me, “Blogging, Ann?” And I said, “No.” I am so clever and sarcastic, sometimes.
That exchange reminds me of something I used to read, when I was a kid, in Mad Magazine: “Snappy Answers to Stupid1 Questions.”
Those are:
- The first three responses, in Google Images, for “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions,”
- from this page and
- all amazingly relevant, in some way, to my life right now.
Okay!
As often occurs in my posts, one of my main inspirations can be neither seen nor heard, as I’m winding down my writing today.
Q. What is the inspiration to which I am referring?
A. This song by Todd Rundgren:
(thanks to HarryRunt danu for uploading that to YouTube.)
Love is the Answer
by Todd Rundgren, Roger Powell, Kasim Sulton, John Wilcox
Name your price, a ticket to paradise
I can’t stay here any more
And I’ve looked high and low
I’ve been from shore to shore to shore
If there’s a short cut, I’d have found it
But there’s no easy way around it
Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all, set us free
Love is the answer
Who knows why someday we all must die
We’re all homeless boys and girls
And we are never heard
It’s such a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely world
People turn their heads and walk on by
Tell me, is it worth just another try?
Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Let it shine, shine on us all, set us free
Love is the answer
I know the answer is love
Tell me, are we alive or just a dying planet?
What are the chances?
Ask the man in your heart for the answers
And when you feel afraid
(Love one another)
When you’ve lost your way
(Love one another)
When you’re all alone
(Love one another)
When you’re far from home
(Love one another)
When you’re down and out
(Love one another)
All your hope’s run out
(Love one another)
When you need a friend
(Love one another)
When you’re near the end, love
We got to love, we got to love one another
Light of the world, you got to shine
Love will be a means, yeah, yeah, yeah
Shine on us all
Know that love can save the day
Just give it just one more chance
Love, love, love, love, ooh
Lord, you just can’t let it stop, Lord
Love is the answer
Love is the answer
Love is the answer
Love is the answer, yeah
Got to live free to let love into your life.
Thanks to metrolyrics.com, Mad Magazine, Todd Rundgren and Utopia, to people who ask questions and give answers (as best they can), and to you — of course! — for reading today.
1 Not that I thought Michael’s question “Blogging, Ann?” was stupid. As he said, I could have been shopping.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 
I have never heard this song.
We are all affected by non-response. This does not change
Thank you for this response, Rajiv. It means a lot to me.
I know the feeling. You are an absolute tonic!
The feeling is mutual!
The cartoons remind me of this line. “These sleeping tablets I’m giving to your husband should allow you to get more sleep.” Oh and look out for an award coming your way soon.
Thank you, very much, Alex, for this response. And speaking of non-responsiveness, these days when somebody is kind enough to give me an award, I truly appreciate it, but I do not take any further action.
I know that feeling. I haven’t got to that stage simply because of the cool blogs I’ve found through them.
I liked the responses of the motorcycle cop. I must admit to being able to fire-from-the-hip with smart-assed answers to questions. But, I do it less overtly than before. I realize how it can sting and shut off further talk. Some people don’t deserve to have their feelings hurt for my amusement. Instead, I amuse myself internally with how clever ‘I appear to be’.
Thanks to this comment, Jim, I took a closer look at the link to the Mad Magazine site, with more “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.” I appreciated that and all that you wrote here.
You have done it, Ann. You have written a post so deep and mysterious that I am stumped for answers or questions. So I am left to merely comment that it is thrilling to see that Mad magazine is still snarking with that time-tested feature!
I’ve always wanted to appear deep and mysterious, Mark, so your comment was quite thrilling for me, too.
Ann, you wrote that you feel that you are a tree falling in a forest with nobody there. I hope that you don’t mind if I comment on that, as it’s a feeling I’m familiar with. The image you posted captures that feeling pretty well.
Let’s think this through, for you, our non-judgmental blogger. What is a forest made of? Other trees, every one of which will one day fall. We are all trees, Ann; you are not alone, you are just better at describing what it feels like. And better at reaching out.
The lyrics you posted by Todd Rundgren say that “It’s such a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely world.” If a guy with thousands of adoring fans can write those words, then it’s not hard to see that loneliness is part of the human condition and that we’re all going to feel it, at least sometimes.
But — Every single day for the past 442 days, you have done the best that you can to make the world less lonely for the rest of us. You have shared a lot, sometimes your heart, sometimes your humour, sometimes your fear and sometimes the things you see as you go through your day. All of us feel like we’re falling sometimes, and sometimes we really do fall, but you do what you can to let us know that we are not alone.
If you feel like you are falling, Ann, please let us know how we can catch you. You are definitely not alone and you are definitely not unseen. As for that person who is not responding to your call for help — I hope that a flash mob of bloggers shows up in their office and dances all over their stuff.
This comment made me cry with gratitude. Thank you.
Writing posts and the support that I experience here DOES catch me, every day.
And no need for that flash mob, although that image made me laugh, too.
Reblogged this on harrygrotman and commented:
Cool
Thanks, so much, for the cool re-blog!
what an interesting post = and enjoyed your “ponderings” and shares.
thanks for the song – never heard that it is very well done with those rich (yet simple) lyrics) – and very funny cartoons – like the starbucks one especially.
~y.
You are most welcome. I am very grateful for your visit and comment. And I’m so glad you liked the song — it’s one of my favorites.
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