Yesterday’s post ended with a bond. James Bond.
There are many different types of Bonds, aren’t there?
(I found that image here.)
THIS post, however, is about Interpersonal Bonds, which I observed, last night, forming in a room.
While regular readers of this blog might imagine those bonds forming among people in a group therapy room, they were actually created …
… at a restaurant.
Here’s what happened.
Last night, Michael and I went out to dinner, at a restaurant I like very much. We had to wait, a little while, for a table.
Once they seated us, our relief quickly turned to other feelings, because the people sitting next to us were loud. REALLY loud.
To use two words from yesterday’s post — Double O — one person, especially, seemed obstreperous and obnoxious.
And I noticed many people bonding, because of this. Michael and I immediately bonded with our waiter, joking about how quickly he might give that table the check.
Every time I looked around the room, I saw people reacting to the outbursts and connecting with each other, in different ways. A woman, seated in a corner on the other side of the room, caught my eye several times and communicated, non-verbally, her feelings.
Because I’m sensitive to sound, I reacted involuntarily when the Loud Guy spoke. “Spoke” doesn’t describe it, actually. Every time he expressed a thought, he bellowed, blared, blustered, and brayed.
Many feelings were there in the room: fear, anger, and yearnings that the Loud Guy would go away, as soon as possible. So, when he put on his coat and left the restaurant, somebody actually applauded, even though some of his companions had remained behind.
The woman from the corner came over to our table, to bond with Michael and me about our feelings. I saw several strangers communicating across tables, joking about their relief.
Then, the Loud Guy returned. And, all those old feelings came back into the room with him, including disappointment.
Soon after the Return of The Brayer, Michael needed to excuse himself. He said, “I hate to leave you with this, baby,” because I — out of everybody else in the restaurant — was closest to the noise.
But, at that point, I wasn’t afraid to be left alone. Why? Because I had realized, by then, that it wasn’t so much what the Loud Guy was saying. It was the VOLUME, which was upsetting us all.
Then, the Loud Guy yelled something that amazed me.
Don’t you LOVE Dorothy Parker?
And I DO love Dorothy Parker, so I turned toward him. He repeated, this time directly to me:
Don’t you LOVE Dorothy Parker?
I nodded and answered, “Yes.” He said:
Didn’t Dorothy Parker say THE BEST THINGS?
1. I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.
2. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
3. You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
4. I’m never going to accomplish anything; that’s perfectly clear to me. I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.
5. I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound — if I can remember any of the damn things.
6. Four be the things I’d have been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
7. I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
8. Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
9. Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
10. The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.’
11. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
12. It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard. (Said when leaving hospital after an abortion).
13. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
14. I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table,after four I’m under my host.
15. Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life
16. I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it.
17. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
18. When asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence, Parker replied: You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
19. Of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, Parker said: “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
20. I’ve been too fucking busy – or vice versa. (in response to a letter from her editor asking for more stories during her honeymoon)
Here’s something I want to point out: While Dorothy Parker used the “F-word” above (as I did, recently, in this post) … the Loud Guy never did, last night.
When Michael returned to our table, I said, “Guess who I had a bonding moment with?” And Michael — who is an excellent guesser — got it right, first shot.
One more thought, before I end this post. Earlier in the evening, I said to Michael, “I hope this guy can inspire me to speak louder, with less fear about making too much noise.”
Thanks to Dorothy Parker, to loud people everywhere, and to you — of course! — for bonding here, today.