Day 437: Look down and look back (in anger)

Warning:  Because of the topic of this post, some language is for “adult” audiences.

The title of yesterday’s post was “Looking Up.”  Doesn’t it figure that today’s post would involve the opposite, and more?

I, personally, prefer looking up to looking down or looking back.  But it’s important to look everywhere, don’t you agree?  Otherwise, you might miss something.

Here are some things I’ve seen lately, looking down:


It’s more clocks, in the 10:10 position! See yesterday’s post for more about that particularly pleasing point in time.

Now, let’s look down at another theme of mine: confusion.  Today’s ball of confusion* is …. What does the word “macaroon” mean?

Are macaroons these kind of cookies?


Or these kinds of cookies?



I am familiar with the first kind of macaroon, which my mother used to give me when I was a kid. However, those new-fangled, fancy-schmancy cookies in the subsequent photos have been showing up, everywhere.

I can imagine that those perfectly formed, pricier, newer (to me) cookies probably look down on those messier, cheaper, old-fashioned cookies.

And, actually, when I encountered those two types of macaroons last night, at Whole Foods, those uppity, prettier cookies WERE higher up, location-wise, than the other ones.

I ranted to my bf Michael, last night in Whole Foods, about my cookie confusion:

What is the deal with macaroons these days, Michael?   What ARE the differences between these different types?  Do the new ones EVEN HAVE COCONUT in them?  Why are they so expensive? Why are they showing up, on all the cooking shows? Should I even try them?  Are they really that much BETTER than those old, familiar macaroons?

As I was taking the cookie shots, above, somebody who works at Whole Foods kept coming up and asking me if I needed help.

My initial thought was “I’m in trouble, for taking photos.”  I was able to identify THAT thought as a cognitive distortion immediately, though, and let it go.

But I still felt a little twinge of guilt, whenever the Whole Foods Lady asked me if I needed help. That guilt twinge could have been related to my expectation, in the moment, that I was unlikely to buy anything.

Finally, though, I unloaded my confusion and my questions about those cookies, in response to “Can I help you with anything?”

What was that nice woman’s reply?  She told me:

  1. She couldn’t really explain the difference between the cookies to me.
  2. She could assure me that the prettier cookies were worth the additional price.
  3. She suggested I bring home one of those new cookies, and see for myself.
  4. She recommended I try the one new-fangled cookie that shared something important with the old, familiar ones: coconut.

Here’s that cookie:


Last night, I looked down at it, I ate it, and it was good.

Afterwards, Michael asked me, “What it worth $49?” (Because that was one of the numbers I was throwing around last night, in my rant.) I replied, “No.  But it was DEFINITELY worth $1.89.”

As usual, there were many more things I wanted to show and tell about, today. Do I have time?  We shall see.

Here are some more photos I’ve taken recently, looking down:


That’s an image that was seen but not shown, during my walk this weekend (see here for more about that).

Here’s another image you haven’t seen yet, when I was looking down at a different location:


Why did I take THAT shot? Well, I thought that was kind of ridiculous, to have a stuffed animal that smelled like chocolate. Wouldn’t somebody try to eat THAT?

Here’s another shot I took, within moments of that last photo, when I was looking down:


Why did I take THAT photo?  What do YOU think, dear reader?




Okay, I’ll tell you. I noticed the absurdity of a sign that said “Something Special” AND “Save 00 cents.”

So what’s left to do, before I complete and publish this post?

I suppose I could try to clear up any possible ball of confusion*, here. But I doubt I have time for that.

I suppose I should explain, a little more, about the post title “Look down and look back (in anger).” For example, what the heck is anger doing there? I mean, the anger is contained, in parentheses, but is this post REALLY about anger, too?


I’ll tell you this: When I was composing that title, last night, I had remembered this play, from the 1950s:


And while sitting in an electric chair doesn’t sound exactly comfortable or conducive to paying attention, “Look Back in Anger” has been considered, for many years by many critics, to be an important piece of work.

But why is that in the title of my post?  I haven’t even seen “Look Back in Anger” — as a play or as a movie.

I’ll confess this, now: I have been working on anger — my own and others — in many different places, these days. That’s why it showed up in the title.

For example, in a group I was in last week — as a member, not a leader** — I yelled “FUCK YOU!” Which, I must say, is very uncharacteristic of me.

And while it felt good to let that anger out, I — almost immediately — felt guilty about it. When I expressed my fear and guilt about what I had done, the group leader said, “Your anger is very welcome, here.”

Wow.  That’s really something worth looking back at.

Okay!  Time to end this post.

Thanks to cookies of all kinds, Temptations,  Whole Foods and Shaw’s Markets, people who are working on anger in any way, those who look every which way, and to you — of course!! — for being here, today.

* You know, if you don’t look at my links, you really might miss something special.

** I would never say such a thing as a facilitator or leader. I feel the need to repeat that — up there and down here — to be absolutely clear.

Categories: Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

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25 thoughts on “Day 437: Look down and look back (in anger)

  1. Gede Prama

    Well written. May peace be with you 🙂

  2. I am confused by those cookies too

  3. I don’t like coconut so I don’t think I’d like either cookie and that angers me because they sure look pretty!

  4. You have let a dog out of its crate with me on this post, Ann. In fact, anger was part of my post today, too, although I did not mention that emotion by name.

    And, about absurd signs:

    Did you notice in your first shot that one clock is priced at $39.99 and its identical twin clock beside it is on sale for $19.99? Also, about the fancy new cookies usurping the name of a coconut favorite from our youth, one rack is indeed called macaroons and another is called macroons?

    Thank you, Ann, for allowing me to say out loud ‘What the f@&k!!!!’

  5. I don’t like coconut in cookies, but I like toasted macaroon coffee. Though once I busted up a coconut with my wife and we ate pieces of it raw, and it was actually pretty tasty. Which does not make me angry, but does make me wonder. Mostly your post puts the David Bowie song “Look Back in Anger” in my head, which is pretty cool.

  6. Hi Ann, I can clear up the mystery of the cookies. The first photos you posted were of macaroons. (However they are spelled.) The second are of a French treat that has recently become popular, called macarons. (Mack-a-rones). They are meringue-based. I always associate macaroons with Passover and macarons with fancy luncheons.

    A couple of years ago, I read a newspaper article about someone who had started baking these locally and so I ordered some from her. She said they were very finicky to make and had to be eaten quickly. We had them delivered by overnight mail to one of my youngest son’s teachers in Vanderhoof, where they arrived a sticky mess but the teacher said they were delicious. I have come to the conclusion that macarons are ridiculously expensive circles of coloured sugar and now I stick to chocolate. Solid. .

    I’m intrigued by your group. What kind of group is this where somebody can shout “Fuck you!” and then get such a warm response? And, why do airlines not send their customer service people to these groups, for training?

    I hope that you are okay.

    • I am very okay. I am still confused about the Macaroon/Macaron issue, though: aren’t all of these cookies, no matter how they are spelled, meringue-based? Oy. And for your questions about the group: that’s what happens when you have a truly skilled leader, I suppose, and two full days in a row with the same people. Do you think the airlines might spring for something like that?

  7. hahahaha…. who knew macaroons could be so complicated ??? 😀

  8. Pingback: Day 438: Double O | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  9. Hmmm. I actually DID say the F*** word and I WAS the facilitator in a book discussion group this week! I was reading/quoting from the book (Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal, by Jeannette Winterson–I highly recommend it!), but it is not a word that is common to my vocabulary and it felt alien to me, yet at the same time, a bit liberating…:)
    Gail at Making Life An Art

    • It is liberating, isn’t it … if used sparingly and appropriately. Thanks for the book recommendation, Gail, and the comment.

  10. Pingback: Day 439: Bonds | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  11. I love coconut and do love the old-fashioned macaroons instead of the fancier kinds. They are more like the inside of mounds candy bars and are so chewy and moist. The little sandwich ones can be rather dry. I would have been quite bold, saying I needed a ‘sample’ of each! Smiles, Robin

  12. Pingback: Day 461: Forgetting and Remembering | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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