This is going to be a quickly-composed post, dear readers.
Maybe that will help ME become quickly composed, also.
I’ll be more direct about my state of mind, right now. I feel:
- aware of a VERY packed day ahead of me, at work, on my first Monday after returning from Panama.
- a little “thrown” because of some mistakes I just discovered (my mistakes and others’ mistakes).
- a little guilty.
I don’t have time to write much more about those feelings this morning, but I would like to add a little more about that last feeling.
Little guilt, let’s call it, for now.
I’m having some guilt/fear/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, regarding the very distant (distant, NOT distinct) possibility of hurting somebody else. How do I think I might hurt this person? By seeming to be “competitive.” By lessening somebody else’s chance to get what they want.
In this blog, I’ve written before about “free-floating” negative feelings that attach themselves to whatever they can hold on to — and once dislodged by reality testing or other coping strategies, float and attach again. (See here for a blog post about that.)
That’s a very familiar feeling …. and I suspect that’s what I’m really dealing with, this morning.
What else am I dealing with?
Fear of falling behind. Fear of not keeping up — at work and elsewhere.
That’s a very familiar feeling for me, too. When I was on a hike in Panama, that old feeling showed up – in a obvious, physical way. (See here, for that post.)
So how can I compose myself AND this post, right now, so everything is “good enough”?
Let’s go to another old, familiar routine (but one that’s more helpful):
- Check iPhone for relevant images.
Well, I don’t know if this is relevant, but I just found a photo I took yesterday, which shows something I THOUGHT I SAW. (I doubt the evidence of my own perceptions, sometimes.) (That’s a familiar feeling, too.) So what’s the photo?
Aren’t those BUDS on the trees?!?!??!!
Okay, so what was this post about, again?
I THINK this post might have been about the healing power of distraction and hope, and how those help me (1) keep up with obligations and (2) let go of unhelpful thoughts.
No matter what this post IS about, it’s time to end it, so I can make it to work, with some time to spare. Above all, I don’t want to rush, this morning (or ever, actually).
Thanks to everybody who falls behind, keeps up, competes, rushes, doubts their perceptions sometimes, and anybody else I haven’t covered so far, in this expression of gratitude. And special thanks to you — for keeping up with me today.