Day 385: Wicked Pisser

Note: This blog post was inspired by recent, actual events, including my watching last night’s season premiere1 of “Sherlock” with my son.

Soon after waking this morning, I said to my partner of three years, “I’ve got it.  I know what today’s post title will be.”

Wicked pisser.

It was obvious, and all too clear.  Why hadn’t I realized it before? After briefly cursing myself for my slowness, I made haste to prepare for today’s post.

“The blog’s afoot, Michael!” I cried, as I ran — my feet descending the stairs clad in but one purple sock — to retrieve my cell phone.

Carefully re-ascending, I took a photo of the crime scene:

photo (73)

Of course, the authorities,  when arriving upon the scene soon after the deed was discovered last night, had completely bungled the investigation, removing critical evidence.  Nevertheless, I believed this photo would help me and my Blogging Street Irregulars put the pieces together.

Next, after hastily rearranging the crime scene to its usual morning appearance, I surreptitiously took a photo of the first suspect:

Image

I reviewed the evidence against this creature. Uppermost of all the thoughts flashing through my mind were these:

  1. His returning to the scene of the crime.
  2. The look on his face, which any keen observer might deduce as indicative of guilt (although I’ve learned, through many years of  investigations, that facial expressions can be deceiving).
  3. His motives, which could include revenge for being removed, relatively recently, from his previous home — a local shelter of good repute — from which he was placed, without his consent, in an unfamiliar domicile to cohabit with other creatures, also not of his choosing.

Which reminded me of the other obvious suspect:

Image

Again, the case against this graceful animal ran through my head:

  1. Previous commitments of the crime in question, although never at that particular location.

That was all I could come up with, in the heat of the moment.  I wondered: Was my affection for this creature interfering in my dispassionate review of the evidence?

Of course not. Affection never sways my mind from the facts. Nevertheless, I could proceed no further with the investigation.

At the time of this writing, the results are inconclusive. I’m hoping, with future observation, to solve the crime. But, as we know, some mysteries are never solved2, even when we’ve narrowed the list of suspects.

Before I end this blog post, I would like to tell my readers this: I had other reasons for naming today’s post, precisely.

For example, “Wicked Pisser” —  at the geographical location of the crime scene — can be the highest possible praise. In the local vernacular, it means Top Notch. Amazing. The Best.

My plan, over this long weekend, was to write a post about some high praise I’ve received, at different points in my life.

However, events can interfere with intentions. One must go with the flow.

And, sometimes, it’s good to keep your audience guessing.

Thanks to all the Sherlock Holmeses I’ve encountered, since age 10. Who else to thank? Elementary, my dear reader. You, for visiting today.


  1. In the United States.

  2. For example, see my blog post from months past — Unsolved Mysteries — set in Edinburgh, Scotland.

A final, unnumbered footnote: See the comment section, below, for postulations about a mysterious “<   p>” which appeared, at some point, in this post.

One more thing that feels missing, to me, from this post. Some background music:

Categories: humor, Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

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58 thoughts on “Day 385: Wicked Pisser

  1. lol the cat’s got the “Oh sure blame it all on me now” look 😉

  2. Although the crime against your bed sheet remains unsolved, at least the plot (and reasoning) was easier to follow than the one on PBS last night! [If Sherlock hadn’t been so easy on the eyes, I might have given up and gone to bed!] 🙂

  3. People may observe, in this post, an extraneous “p”, appearing after the single piece of evidence against Suspect #2. Try as I may, I cannot discover the source of this “p”. I have checked both versions of the post — “Visual” and “Text” — trying to locate and remove it, to no avail. I’m afraid that means the “p” must remain in this post, at this point. I kid you not; this comment is completely true.

  4. You have some awesome cats. They don’t look very satisfied with, what you were doing. But beautiful they are…
    Irene

    • Like paparazzi, I tried to get photos where they looked perturbed, Irene, for my own purposes. Thank you for seeing the cats’ beauty, and for visiting and commenting today.

  5. You make me smile. And your cats make me dance for joy! 🙂 Not because they’re wicked pissers — they’re just so dang cute!

    • I was just reading your latest post, Louise, which was making me dance for joy, also. So great to see your smiling face here, today!

  6. You will never get a confession, Ann. Cat’s got the culprit’s tongue. Or, the culprit’s got a cat’s tongue. One purple sock, oh? Lost the other? And, finally, when we take our yearly vacation to the Cape, I always keep my ears open to the vernacular Wicked Pisser.

    • Thanks for your usual keen observation, Mark, as well as your warnings about the unlikelihood of finding the right culprit. In this case, the pun-ishment fits the crime.

  7. Oh, Ann, how I laughed. You have no idea how often I go through this. Though it really isn’t funny due to the “event” “marking” one of my boys having trouble again. You will never get a confession out of a cat. I need to be a super sleuth, going on my hunches, who did what and why. Oh, yes, the guilty look. But is it?

    Cats are very territorial. At times, when stressed, or they feel their territory is being invaded, the pisser occurs. I make sure my laptop and iPad are well out of range during the night. I am capable sometimes to be one step ahead of my cats. GRIN!

    • Thanks for laughing and commenting, Amy. I am a little concerned about Suspect #2, since he’s on a special diet for thyroid and urinary crystals. So we’ll be watching him closely. He has seemed fine, for quite a while, otherwise.

      I don’t think it’s a territorial thing, although … now that you mentioned it, Suspect #1 has been spending more time on the bed lately (which was previously the territory of Suspect #2). Hmmmm. As usual, I’ve learned something from you, Amy.

      • Increase Suspect #2’s water intake, Ann. Urinary crystals are nothing to take lightly. I give all my cats water in with their moist food (every meal), and when needed, I supplement with an oral syringe (10cc syringe), giving them water by mouth. Total intake is about 20cc each time I do the oral syringe. IF you do this, do not give the entire syringe contents at once. A few cc’s at a time, gently given, aimed at the side of the mouth. If you aim toward the back of the throat, the cat could choke.

        Also, avoiding dry food with a cat who has crystals is a must. Vets on the whole know very little about nutrition, so I have done years worth of research about this. I have 8 FLUTD’s in this house, and not one has blocked. Close. And that is when hubs and I jump into action figuring out which Homeopathy Remedy to give, which treatments to give and of course, more water.

        Any questions, feel free to email me. I am more then willing to share what I have come to learn. Again, when cats do not act as they normally do, it is either, 1) territory issues, or 2) health issues. That is when keen observation skills come in handy, which I would think you have on account of what you do as a career.

        Hope I have helped some more!!! (((HUGS)))

      • Thank you, Amy. I have many water bowls around, for Suspect #2, and I will remind Michael to keep those all filled (as I try to do, also). I will also continue to observe, keeping in mind all you wrote. You are the best!

      • One last thing. Cats’ water drives are not high. Even though they may need extra water, they will not always drink. Hence, I bring the cat to the water trough. Make sure the water is either filtered or Spring water. Tap water has many minerals that actually create crystals in cats.

        If I am overloading you, I do aplogize. I’ve just been through many an emergency with mine, and I would not want to see any other cat suffer from this terrible disorder. So I pass on willingly what I have learned. 🙂

      • You are not overloading me. I do know a lot about this, since Suspect #2 has had this disorder for many years, and we only have distilled water accessible (we keep all the toilet seats down, all the time, for example). But I’m still learning from you, and to make sure that others might learn, too, I’ve added some tags to this post so people might find your wisdom here.

        Thanks, Amy!

      • Thank you, Ann. That wisdom is hard earned. I had to put one of my cats down just last June due to this disease. He ended in renal failure. Yes, I could have opted for surgery for this guy, yet, knowing this cat as I did, the problem would build again. No. He suffered too much as is was, for I delayed in the decision to put him down, which tore my heart from my breast. So yes, I have paid my dues.

        Bless you, my friend!

  8. Haha! I think it was the first one.

  9. very funny 🙂 AND….I absolutely LOVE Sherlock….I got into it when Netflix put it on their feed last year and I couldn’t stop watching it……

    • Hey, Kenneth! Thanks for visiting, during your stint in Costa Rica. I am honored.

      I LOVE Sherlock too (as does my son). I presume that you missed out on the season opener. I think you’ll love it, when you get to see it.

  10. I grew up in Boston and grasped your title right away. But, I couldn’t tell what the crime was until I read several comments and then reassessed the title. Yes, which one is the guilty party?

    • Perhaps my writing was too subtle. I appreciate that feedback, very much. We don’t know who the guilty party is, at this point. Time will tell. Also, we may never know the true culprit. But we’ll all be working hard to prevent a reoccurrence of the crime. Thanks for the visit and the comment!

      • My son also had trouble perceiving the crime. When speaking further with him, I realized that my first photo of the crime scene was insufficient and perhaps misleading. Thanks to you and to him, I have improved this post.

  11. Love it! It appears the two prime suspects beat the wrap by a whisker by using their escape claws.

  12. findingmyinnercourage

    The crime scene . . . please don’t blame the kitty : )

  13. I’m pretty sure it’s neither of them. We kitties would never do something like that……………

  14. Ha ha, I’m sure it was an ‘accident’. My Siamese wasn’t happy when my husband first moved into our home. She showed her disdain for the intruder by backing up to his workboot and pooping. Her deposit sat waiting on the toe of his boot. This did not happen just once. It happened four or five times.
    Good luck, Sherlock!

    • Great to see you! I’m glad the culprit here didn’t have that kind of “accident.” Also, I hope the Sherlocks here will be keeping the frequency down to one time. Thanks for sharing your husband’s, your Siamese’s, and your experience.

  15. Sadly, I’m not clever enough (or awake enough) to do a Sherlock-esque dissertation on a breakdown on the entire crime scene and home, followed by a breakdown of Suspects 1 and 2 reading habits and favorite aftershaves.

    But I can say that the conspiracy theories of how Sherlock was still alive were hilarious.

    • Wow. I hadn’t even considered looking at their reading habits and favorite aftershaves. I’ll get on that right away.

      Before I do, though, I want to agree with your assessment of the hilariousness.

  16. Any thoughts on where I could watch a video of the newest Sherlock season 3? I don’t have cable tv and hate to have to wait for the dvd to come out for the season!

  17. My money would be on the usual suspect 😉 Prior convictions and all that. Although it could be a frame-up. I’m afraid you’ll have to visit Baker Street for a conclusive deduction 😉 Great piece and I loved your background music too 😀

    • So glad you liked it, Vic! I definitely had you in mind while creating this mystery. And your reasoning is impeccable, of course.

  18. Pingback: Day 386: Clues | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  19. Pingback: Day 388: What was your intent? | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  20. Some animal psychologists posit that even a well trained dog or cat will pee in inappropriate places to express anger, contempt and disrespect to owner. Or it may not be that complicated. Just being a wicked pisser now and then is a risque delight.

  21. Pingback: Day 845: Running | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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