After much deliberation (a full 20 minutes of it), I have decided upon the title for today’s post. And look! I already have a visual for it:
As regular readers of this blog might know, I love watches. As a matter of fact, 168 days ago (but who’s counting?) I wrote about another one of my favorite watches, here. And for those of you who don’t click on links (and I know you’re out there, people!), here’s the photo of that other watch:
If you want to read more about that watch (and the reasons why I’ve collected watches), you’re just going to have to click on that link.
Readers of this blog may notice that my writing has a certain “tone,” right now.
Although, you know what? I have no real idea whether people can tell my “tone”, my feelings, or my state of mind, right now (or at any point).
That’s the whole friggin’ problem with communicating through written words, isn’t it? We’re missing certain clues, to help us ascertain what somebody else is genuinely feeling or thinking.
However, given that we’re always guessing what other people think, what would you guess about how I’m feeling, right now? (And, yes, I am inviting people to indulge in the “cognitive distortion” of mind reading — something we do, as humans, every day).
So, how would you complete this sentence? As Ann is writing these words, she is __________.
Have you filled it in yet? If not, I’ll wait.
Now, I’m going to do some mind reading of my own. That is, I’m going to guess how you might have filled in that sentence, as follows:
Okay, that last guess made me stop (although stopping so soon makes it unlikely I would have guessed what YOU thought). So why did I stop? Well, I know people are reading this blog all over the world, and I know that the word “pissed” means angry* to some people (including me) and drunk to others. So, I stopped, because I don’t want anybody to think I might be drunk in the morning or at any time while I’m writing these posts (because I’m not).
Hey! Wait a minute! Why do I care what you — or anybody else — thinks? Haven’t I written, throughout this year, about letting go of caring what other people think? (Yes, I have. And here’s an example of that**.)
But here’s the deal, people. I genuinely want people to know who I am. Authentically.
And genuinely and authentically, I am ALL*** of those things in that list. And more.****
As I assume you are (or have been), too.
Oh, no! Look at the time!
As therapists often (and genuinely) say …. We have to stop now.
Thanks to each and every one of you — with all your various parts, feelings, thoughts, guesses, etc. — for reading today.
* So why was I angry, at that point? Because here’s something I know about myself: I tend to get angry when I’m HUNGRY. And by the way, anger is okay. It’s just another human feeling. However, I do know a “cure” for feelings of anger related to hunger. Eating something. Which I did.
** Written way back, on Day 2.
*** Except for drunk, a possible misunderstanding which I believe I have cleared up sufficiently at this point.
**** Including, most likely, what YOU guessed (if it’s not already on that list).