Day 325: The Anniversary Connection

Anniversaries are important.

They must be, otherwise why do we observe them, so often, and in so many different ways?


We observe all sorts of anniversaries, joyful and painful.

Here are some Google Images, for “observing anniversaries”:




Tomorrow, I’m marking a painful anniversary. Here’s how I’m preparing for it:

  1. I’m naming it — here and elsewhere.
  2. I’m leaving room for new perspectives.
  3. I’m being kind to myself.

When something is painful, I tend to isolate.  I know I’m not alone, in THAT.

I just googled “animal in pain behaviors.” Here’s a quote from a Wikipedia article.

Many animals also exhibit more complex behavioural and physiological changes indicative of the ability to experience pain: they eat less food, their normal behaviour is disrupted, their social behaviour is suppressed,***** they may adopt unusual behaviour patterns, they may emit characteristic distress calls, experience respiratory and cardiovascular changes, as well as inflammation and release of stress hormones.

So, yes, I’m not alone in that.  And I’ve met many other people whose social behavior is suppressed, when they are in pain.

Tomorrow, on the anniversary of November 22, 1963, I will probably spend most of the day by myself.

That is a choice. I like being alone. It helps leave room for contemplation and change.

However, I am making a commitment — to myself and to my social network — to reach out, if I need to.

When I choose to be alone (and I do have that choice, as an adult), I want to remember that I don’t HAVE to be alone.

I need to remember this:  if I do reach out, I will get a response. I will, most likely, feel some connection.

And if I don’t, I can reach out again. And again. Until I feel connected.

In the past, if I have reached out and not felt a connection, I have felt worse.

That can feel too risky: to reach out, when you’re in pain. I see that, all the time.

It’s not too risky.   Someone will be there, eventually. You just need to reach out, until you connect.

I know that, now.

Thanks for connecting, today.


* Thanks to Vroman’s Bookstore for the image.

** This 9/11 image was attributed to this site.

*** Thanks to PRI for this image.

**** This image of Walter Cronkite, announcing John F. Kennedy’s death, was attributed to this site.

***** Emphasis added, by me.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

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22 thoughts on “Day 325: The Anniversary Connection

  1. You are a wise woman. KNow that when you reach out, there are many others reaching back to reach out to you. Hugs.

  2. Open Up Life

    Lovely post. I can relate to reaching out and not connecting. So much disconnection in today’s society. Whenever you think you are alone, that’s when you stop letting your mind take over and smile and say “wait, there is love all around me.” Connections are everywhere, starting here. Peace, love and bliss. Have a beautiful day. Sending you many hugs and blessings. Tammy

  3. clayton paul

    There are times to be alone, no doubt. it is a choice each person makes for themselves, and has a right to do so, as you stated. However, it can be good to find an outlet for thoughts and emotions in the consult or company of someone…

    If you need to talk, please reach out and I’ll do what I can to help you. You are a wonderful person, Ann. You obviously feel things very deeply. Those are the types who really find consolation in sharing, venting, etc.

    Take care…

  4. Hmm… It’s definitely one of those days that people say they will always remember where they were when it happened. I feel that way about September 11th, in so so many ways.

    Well–if you do need to reach out, we people of the interwebs are always here 🙂

    Take heart, Ann.

  5. Hello Ann. I stumbled upon your blog through a link on another blog.

    I’m sorry for your pain. It is good to know that you feel you can reach out for comfort when you need it. Too many people only see bad in the world, but there are so many others out there who are supportive when the need arises. I hope you find the peace that you need to get through today, whatever the cause of your pain, and I look forward to reading about how you got on.

    May you find the support that you have undoubtedly given to others in your time.


    • Michael, I am so glad you stumbled upon my blog. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. It is good to know that you are out there, too.

      • We heart patients have to stick together, Ann 🙂

        I don’t think my heart problem is as bad as yours, but spending time in the Coronary unit certainly focuses the mind on what is important. And that gives us reason to reach out to others.

      • Those of us with heart problems (and with heart) have to stick together, it’s true. Thanks, Michael!

      • Another thing: I actually don’t know how bad my heart problem is, because I have such an unusual heart. That’s part of the challenge, and the gift (maybe for all of us). So glad you’re here!

  6. I’m glad you reached out. Kennedy’s assassination on Nov. 22, 1963 haunts me still. His death did change us. Just what could have been?

    I chose not to write about it. As a former reporter, I’ve done the anniversary of this occasion and others. I tend to want to surround myself with people … or noise (chatter) … to avoid thinking of painful things and events. But we are all connected by a shared experience. 🙂

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