Day 182: So What?


“So What?” means many things to me.

“So What?” Take One.

“So What?” is an amazing tune by Miles Davis, which I’ve loved (and played on the piano) since I was 16 years old.

Your ears and eyes might tell you how “simple” that tune is. Yet, I’ve listened to it countless times. And I expect to keep listening, as long as my ears hold out.

“So What?” Take Two.

“So what?” is something I say to myself when I’m feeling discouraged, down, depressed, disenchanted, and other words that begin with the letter “d”.

As in, “So what if I do (or think, say, write, or feel) this, or anything else? What does it matter, ultimately? What can it really change? Who cares?”

“So What?” Take Three.

“So what?” is something I can say to myself in a freeing, liberating way, to get myself unstuck.

It’s actually one of my favorite ways to challenge cognitive distortions (which are unhelpful and automatic thoughts):

The So What? Technique. Consider that an anxiety-producing possibility (even the worst case scenario) might not be as bad as you fear. For example, “So what if this one person doesn’t like me? Not everybody is going to like me.” or “So what if I lose my cell phone? It’ll be an incredible hassle, but I’ll be able to deal with it.”

See here for a complete list of handy-dandy antidotes to cognitive distortions.

When I wrote that description above, I used the example of losing my cell phone, because I was feeling anxious about losing things. (See here for a post about THAT.) Since then, I’ve lost many things, including my credit card and checkbook (some temporarily, some not), but I haven’t lost my cell phone. Yet.

If I do, I’ll just use that antidote.

It’s a very simple remedy. It’s one that I’ve used many times before. And I expect to keep using it, as long as unhelpful thoughts hold out.

“So What?” Final Take

Here’s something my mother used to say:

“So what? Sew buttons.”

Thanks for reading today. (So what if you did?) (Sew buttons.)

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on “Day 182: So What?

  1. Gene Phillips

    The “so what” therapy helps, but I generally have to stop and give myself a megadose for it to kick in. Coincidentally, I left home 20 minutes later than planned because I couldn’t find my cell phone. I dialed it several times, but couldn’t hear it anywhere. In the end, I found it set on vibration mode in a pocket in the jacket I wore yesterday, one of the first places I should have looked. I really dislike such why-didn’t-I-just-look-there moments.

    • There are a lot of those moments, aren’t there? And my phone is almost always on vibrate these days, because I turn it off when I’m at work. So I really have to keep track of it. So far, so good.

  2. Linda Lintz

    So what? Sew buttons.
    Gotta love a good pun like that:)

  3. Craig

    So gnu?

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  5. Love this song! I used to listen to Kind of Blue when I was going to sleep, but I love it anytime at all. Thanks, I haven’t heard it in a while. I love your verbal take on it.

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