Day 166: The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally Merchandise: T-shirts

Yesterday, I went to a conference feeling some disappointment, anger, insecurity, and other uncomfortable feelings, but also hopeful that I would learn some things.

Part of my ensemble for the day was my t-shirt, proclaiming that I am the longest surviving person in the world with a pacemaker.

I made that choice because (1) I wanted to dress down rather than up (since that seemed more of a “fit” for where I was) and (2) my wearing that “bragging right” was inspired by another participant at that same conference, two years ago.

I started out the day, wondering what I would do with all those uncomfortable feelings I mentioned in the first paragraph, which had born out of my public “failure” at that conference: that is, (1) my having finally decided to be a workshop presenter rather than just a participant and (2) said Sunday workshop being cancelled due to low registration numbers.

I participated in a wonderful, all-day group, about Courage in Groups, where I learned a lot from the other people there. I expressed a lot of my feelings, including the difficult ones. I witnessed people demonstrating courage by being vulnerable, trying new things, and risking shame in front of people they didn’t know before.

The people in my group liked my t-shirt, and they suggested that I make and wear two other ones, including:

Beautiful when angry

Failure is just a construct

Today, it’s occurring to me that merchandising might be the answer to my yearnings for fame and fortune. Here are some possible Year of Living Non-Judgmentally t-shirts:

Are you trying to sell me something?

Alone in the presence of others

Left the house before I felt ready

Hero of my own story

Woke up this morning feeling uneasy

My path (with a picture of the ascending coil)

This is the only thing I can change

Good enough AND making it better

Losing my investment in the outcome

Working on my to do list

Trying one weird trick

Figuring it out

Owing people e-mails