This is going to be a short post because I had a very long day.
And all I want to say today is how my day started and how it ended.
My day started with my sobbing, before I left for work, because I had allowed myself to get in touch with some fears about my health, which I had never really allowed myself to feel before. These fears were a collection of old fears from my childhood and some current fears that I do need to live with, but often deny and suppress. And this morning, because I was talking about these fears to somebody I trust, I allowed myself to feel the fears in a new, very primal way.
And I sobbed.
Then I went to work and lots of things happened.
Then, tonight, I went to a meeting to start planning a high school reunion. I traveled about 20 miles and about 45 years back in time, to meet with some people with whom I spent several formative years, but whom I have not seen for quite a while. When I was traveling those 20 miles to the meeting — and because the memories of the past were right there — I had some fears about that meeting. I thought that perhaps these people at the meeting might have judged me in high school and might also judge me tonight.
(I mean, this may be the Year of Living Non-Judgmentally, but we’re talking High School, for cripe’s sake!)
But when I got to the meeting, I realized that everybody there wanted to be there because they felt an urge to reconnect. And people were as kind as could be to me.
And I was happy to be there with them and to start planning our high school reunion, together.
So, dear reader, that was how my day started and how my day ended.
And I’m happy to be here, now, too. Thanks for reading.
I hope the future will be like the way that day ended, and all will be well.
Thank you so much for this comment. I read it the day you posted it and have kept it with me.
Hi, Ann,
thank you for sharing this out. Hope you get even better and stronger after letting out those fears. Once something is let out, it no longer can control us by sitting in the corner of our soul and manipulating our emotions up and down. Wish you the best. – yun(larry’s mom)
Yun, thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I wish the best to you, too.