Day 3: The Fear of Feeling “Too Good”

Here’s a little bit of history behind my deciding to write this blog at this particular time:

Things have been going really well for me lately.

As a matter of fact, I’ve had this thought recently: this might be the BEST year of my life.  Ever.  And a big part of what’s made me see my story that way is that I’ve been feeling more confident, safer, more hopeful about the future, and more peace about the past. That is, I’ve noticed that I’m feeling better about myself and my life, better than I can even remember before.  And as Robert Frost said (about a particular road) “that has made all the difference.”

But, there’s been a wrinkle — a side effect, if you will — to my feeling this way.

And that would be : The Fear of Feeling TOO Good.

Does that ring a bell for you?  Can you identify with that fear at all?  I have to tell you, this is another fear that I’ve observed in a LOT of other people.  Along with the Fear of What Other People Think (a topic of my 2nd blog entry here), I’d call this another Psychological Epidemic.  It’s another source of pain that I see in so many people.  And it gets me mad sometimes, people!  (Things that hurt others can get me mad sometimes.)

If I had a quarter for each time I’ve heard expressions of this fear — from clients, friends, and in my own head — I’d probably be able to feed parking meters and use public laundromats forever. Here’s an example of one of those  change-revenue-producing statements:

When things are going too well, I have trouble enjoying that.  It seems like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Oh, man.  Doesn’t that SUCK?  It’s the ultimate buzz-kill. The ultimate Joy Murderer.

Well, I’ve got Headline News about that statement. 

There is no other shoe.

But for many of us, that expectation — that we will be zapped by some disaster as retribution for feeling too good — is a cause-and-effect relationship as inevitable as Newton’s basic laws of physics,  like this:

For every action (involving feeling too good) there will be an opposite and equal reaction (major catastrophe).

So where did this belief come from, and why do so many of us share it?

If you can relate to this at all, think about your own reasons.  I’ll write about mine in my next blog entry.

Hey, my first cliff-hanger!

Thanks for joining me here, dear reader.