Day 396: Too much, too little

I know it’s too late for Christmas lights, Christmas songs, and other things Christmas, but a Christmas tune popped into my head, not too long ago (specifically, three minutes before this).  Yes, these lyrics ran through my brain, accompanied by the tune of a popular Christmas song:

On the eighth day of blogging, my true post said to me …

That’s because I just re-read a post I wrote way back on Day 8, called “Too___, too ____, or just right? (Thanks a lot, Goldilocks.)”  That title and post have stuck with me, for over a year.

I just re-read that post, and I recommend it. It’s not too short or too long, too goofy or too serious, too simple or too complicated, too up or too down, too revealing or too coy, too confusing or too plain, too hot or too cold, too hard or too soft, too high or too low, too bad or too good. It offers a different perspective, for sure — that of a new, inexperienced blogger (although, honestly, I can still feel like a newbie, three hundred and eighty-eight days later).

I realize that if you do read that post, it might seem too …. something, to you.   And perhaps we can all agree on this: That title might be a little too long.

But, honestly, dear readers, I’m surprised that old post didn’t seem too anything to me, today,  because … I’m feeling pretty judgmental right now.

I tend to get more judgmental — with “too” thoughts rushing in —  when I’m feeling overwhelmed and depleted. When I’m doing too much, with too little.

Too much with too little. What does that even mean?  Maybe that’s too general. Okay, I’ll provide some details.

Right now, I feel like I’m doing too much …

  • work
  • writing
  • reading
  • thinking
  • activity
  • exertion

… with too little …

  • sleep
  • nourishment
  • down time
  • quiet time

I’m looking at what I’ve written so far and wondering: Is this post — already —  too negative, too confusing, too revealing, too … something?

Well, it might be too something, to somebody. There’s nothing I can do about that, for sure.  But, as usual, it helps me to express my thoughts here.

Here’s some context of why I feel depleted right now: I often feel that way on Thursday nights, into Friday mornings (which is when I’m writing this post). My Thursday work day is very long (10 hours), including two therapy groups, lots of individual therapy sessions, and an important meeting, with too many notes to write, and too many phone calls to return. Also, I work half a day on Wednesdays — so there’s always a back-log of things to do, from my afternoon off.

However, at this point, I’ve written over a year of Friday blog posts, and most of them — I believe — aren’t too down, dreary, or depressing.  I think most of those posts are just right, with a  balance of concerns and hope, good and bad, up and down.

In case you were wondering, people, I am NOT checking those old Friday posts, right now.  There are way too many of them. And, I’ve got too little time and energy, right now.

But my point is this:  I DO feel more depleted than usual, this Friday morning. Why? Well, I’ve got some extra things “on my plate” right now, including:

  • Preparing for my trip, a week-and-a-half away.
  • Groundhog Day, in two days.

Now, why would I need to prepare, in any way, for Groundhog Day?  It’s not like it’s Christmas, for heaven’s sake, with expectations, or traditions like gift-giving or socializing.

You know what? I’m probably being too provincial right now. That is, I’m assuming that everybody knows what Groundhog Day is. In case you don’t,  here’s a definition:

Ground·hog Day
noun
February 2, when the groundhog is said to come out of its hole at the end of hibernation. If the animal sees its shadow—i.e., if the weather is sunny—it is said to portend six weeks more of winter weather.
.
Thanks to Google for that definition, above. Let’s see if Google has some good images, for Groundhog Day, too:
.
Image 1
Image 2
Image3
Image4
Perhaps this post is too rambling, mysterious, or indirect, right now.   Maybe you’re thinking, “Why the heck is Ann focusing on Groundhog Day?  What does that have to do with too much, too little, or anything else she’s written about, so far?  This is too (insert your own adjective here)!!!” Well, I’ll stop being too cagey, and confess: Groundhog Day is my birthday. And, perhaps, I’m not alone in “too” thoughts appearing, around this time, including the ever-popular ….
Am I too old?
And
Have I done too little, at this point in my life?
.
I’ve learned to answer both of those questions with a resounding “NO!” because both of those questions are too
  • painful
  • conventional, and
  • useless.

So why is there any pressure, at all, related to my birthday this year?  I mean, it’s not like last year, when we planned a 60th birthday party for me.  Man, there was a LOT of pressure associated with that. (But also, a lot of fun.)

So that pressure is absent this year. Why am I even writing about this, now?

Here’s why: As much as I love and look forward to my birthday, I’ve been disappointed, during some birthdays past. I’ve expected too much, and gotten too little. So, perhaps, I’m afraid of a repeat of those disappointments, this year.

That’s just too ….

… what?

Human?

Here’s my ending (and I hope it’s not too anything):

Whatever Groundhog Day 2014 brings, my guess is this: It’s going to be just right.

Thanks to Goldilocks, Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell,  anybody who has feelings and reactions about birthdays, people who are doing too much with too little, and to you — of course! — for reading today.

_____
1. I found this image here.  I recommend checking out that link, since it has lots of interesting and fun facts about Groundhog Day, including how to say it in Spanish, Hebrew, Korean, Arabic, and German (and other things that were surprising and new, even to somebody who knew too much about that day already).
2.  I found that image here.
3.  I found that image here. Also, that poster is on my wall, upstairs, a gift from my friend Deb, from last year. Thanks, Deb!
4. I found that image here. I’m going to get a cracker now.
Categories: inspiration, Nostalgia, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Post navigation

28 thoughts on “Day 396: Too much, too little

  1. Your post resonates with me…it could be me…my thoughts! Yes, I read the entire post and “people who are doing too much with too little”. Me, too little time, energy or money to support my artwork; old hell yes, its all me. Hugs to you on this cold Wisconsin day. Ann

  2. “I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank Piña Coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over”

    • Good question, Phil.

      Here’s another quote from the movie:

      “When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn’t imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.”

      A long and lustrous winter, huh? I wonder if that’s what we’re having.

      And by the way, thanks for stopping by today, Kenneth.

  3. Gene Phillips

    I forgot that Groundhog Day was your birthday. Now I have a reason to actually pay attention to it.

  4. Ann, I JUST wrote a reply to you over at my blog…..feeling overwhelmed, out of balance due to MORE being added to my days. (sigh) And here you are, writing what I am feeling as well.

    We with a Heart to help those in need, tend to overburden ourselves, many times, putting ourselves last. This I have been TRYING to change, putting ME time in my bursting days. And then due to adding ME time in my days, I find myself behind in what I normally do DO.

    YET.

    And this is the encouraging thought I want to leave with you. Yesterday, I went out for a short photo shoot. These are the times I am alone with Nature, just feeling, just being, hearing my breath, looking around to see what Mother is beckoning me to photograph. I made a wish on that walk, that I would have someone in my life who really would love to join me in these ventures in complete JOY and Innocence.

    OK. That was a little too much information. I’ll back to my point.

    The point. Even though I took time out for ME, my day and all that it included ran smoothly. No rushing, no hassles. I shot myself in the foot last night though, by overindulging in conversations here on the net, having too much FUN and really enJOYing the connections I was making…..BUT I went beyond my cutoff point, and hence, became so exhausted. I don’t even remember hitting the bed last night. I did that to me. Now, if I had had a bit more constraint, that wouldn’t have been the case.

    So to wrap this up with a nice neat bow, I am learning to make time for ME and to have Faith that the rest of my day will run smoothly. It is a process as I learn how to juggle more with ease. Yet, because I am making more time for ME (and that includes going back to the gym GROAN) I am feeling lighter and less stressed. Today is treadmill day in fact.

    Have a wonderful Friday, Ann. Thank you for being you!!! Love, Amy

  5. I think you are too occupied, Ann. Deep breath. The weekend will come. The groundhog will or will not see its shadow. You will turn another year older. You will not feel older at all. My, I am full of conviction today. You will enjoy yourself!

    • Thanks for having the courage of your convictions, Mark, especially since they were all so helpful to me. I am breathing and … the weekend is here!

  6. Wasn’t it also you who wrote about trip anxiety some time back.

    Birthday
    Workload
    Groundhog day
    Too too much snow
    And
    A trip

    Yup. A whole lot of too many things with expectations of what’s going to happen!

    You’re so incredibly creative though, and so caring, you’ll find yourself in the too much of everyone else time and stop the too much out there to get back into where you continue to shine without too much trouble! :)

    Hugs

    • Wow, Louise. Thanks for all of this. Of course, you see creativity in me because … there’s a whole lot of that in you. This comment was helpful and inspiring for me today. Hugs back at ya.

  7. Dear Ann,
    Happy Birthday to you! The reason for the synchronous posts is I was also born on Feb 2. True to my Aquarian nature I stopped planning birthdays after the kids grew up and I divorced in 2008. I don’t put any expectations on the day.That sounds so together. Actually I am prone to self pity, so I spend plenty of time brooding. This day is just for being alive. I had cancer in 2008 and have none today. That is my birthday present.
    I never think about posts. It all all to vent something. I am blessed with a F*#k ‘em if they can’t take a joke. I am unhindered by any molecule of perfection. I wish you a day like that. Ellen

    • I read this, Ellen, while I was taking a short break from my work day, and I was moved by what you wrote. I’m so glad we share a birthday. I aspire to be like you — unhindered by any molecule of perfection. Thank you for the birthday gift of this comment.

  8. Happy birthday! Sounds like you’re doing everything right – just too over-thinky ;) That’s my problem – I make up words TOO much :)

  9. Happy Birthday to you who inspire many. It does not surprise me you would be very tired on Thursday. I haven’t been reading here long but see you give a great deal of yourself. May the weekend rejuvenate you.

  10. Birthdays do come, and it’s best to get through them in my book. May this one be a happy one, filled with crackers.

  11. Today is Feb. 2. Happy Birthday Ann and Happy Groundhog Day. I hope your birthday is everything you expect it to be. I usually expect ‘too’ much on my birthday and when it doesn’t happen I’m disappointed. I try to not expect anything but that’s pretty much impossible A year and a half ago for my 60th birthday I tried so hard not to be too hopeful. In the end it turned out to be the best birthday ever. I know they can’t all be like that and if they were they wouldn’t be special anymore…..now maybe for my 65th???????? Have a great day!

    • Thanks for this comment (which I’m discovering three days later). I appreciate all your visits, and this thoughtful birthday one from you is special to me.

  12. Thanks for another charming post dear Ann, in which I also learned something: About the Groundhog Day; never heard of it before. And yes, those two questions are sooo USELESS; and anyway, too old for WHAT? I never ask myself such questions. Once in a while my mood plummets when I discover that my skin has become even saggier in certain places… but I normally get over it quickly. As for the other question – I can only do my best as from now on and learn from what was. And I do as much as I can/want. Period. HUGS!

  13. Pingback: Day 399: What I wanted for my birthday | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  14. Pingback: Day 521: Timing | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com. The Adventure Journal Theme.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,586 other followers

%d bloggers like this: